I have a life size Mike and Sulley from Monsters Inc in my basement. Sometimes I pretend that they come to life and we play cards at my poker table. Mike is a sore loser. He gets mad when he is down and eventually quits the game to hammer back beers and shots on the couch. He's absolutely obsessed with documentaries, but constantly mixes up the facts so he tells two half truths 100% of the time. Sulley pays no attention to his sidekick. He quietly watches me as the new cards are laid out on the table, looking for that one indicator. I try and bluff a few times. He's catching on, so I throw in a good pair of cards and a small pile of chips to throw him off. He sips dirty vodka martinis. Later we'll open a bottle of 16 year old Middleton's and talk about who has it worse. Monsters or Humans. Mike is passed out in the easy-chair and snores like a C-130 taking off in a hurricane. They leave and as I am cleaning up I curse Sulley for shedding on my carpet worse than the dogs. I swear I'll quit inviting Mike, but he'll show up with Sulley anyway.
