Fill in the blank - Mildly amusing....
1) My uncle once: owned a silver 280Z that I thought was the coolest car in the world
2) Never in my life: did I think I would work as a manager for a multi-national corporation
3) When I was five: my friends and I were playing Star Trek and I stuck a small rock in my ear to be the communicator. I had to have the doctor suck it out with a small vacuum and it hurt.
4) High School was: disappointing because once I got out I realized I could have gotten away with anything but was too scared to try.
5) I will never forget: my friends from Tennessee
6) I once met: a few famous people, mainly "rock star" types - I did meet Milton Berle at LAX once. That was awesome.
7) Theres this guy/girl I know who: can't poop without taking off all of his clothes and then showering afterwards.
8)Once, at a bar: a drunk old woman lifted her skirt and showed me her hairy bush
9) By noon Im usually: at work unless it's the weekend and then I'm probably out with friends
10) Last night: I watched Gangs of New York. Fucking terrible.
11) If I had only: been born Canadian
12) Next time I go to church, Ill: say what the fuck am I doing at church?"
13) Terry Schiavo: is dead
14) What worries me most: my heart murmur
15) When I turn my head left, I see: a white wall with an Ape Calendar on it
16) When I turn my head right, I see: my bed and open closet
17) You know Im lying when: i am talking about going to church or how great Gangs of New York was
18) You know what I miss most about the eighties: the absence of Hot Topic and real punk rock
19) If I were a character written by Shakespeare, Id be: fancy and wear a funny collar
20) By this time, next year: I will have four kids, drive a BMW, pray to Jebus daily and smoke a lot of weed
21) A better name for me would be: Fucky Ballcrusher
22) I have a hard time understanding: how Gangs of New York was nominated for best picture
23) If I ever go back to school Ill: get an MBA with an emphasis in non-profit business management
24) You know I like you if: i initiate the conversation and don't laugh at you
25) If I won an award, the first person Id thank would be: myself for being so awesome
26) Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens & Geraldine Ferraro: All ran for vice president, except for Darwin, Mozart and Slim Pickens.
27) Take my advice, never: fart in a hot car with no AC
28) My ideal breakfast is: a bowl of Special K with strawberries and soy milk
29) A song I love, but do not have is: "Cracklin' Rosie" by Shane MacGowan. Hard to find.
30) If you visit my hometown, I suggest: you turn around and leave, it's not so great here
31) Tulips, character flaws, microchips & track stars: all ran for vice president except for tulips, microchips and track stars.
32) Why wont anyone: throw a custard pie at Dick Cheney?
33) If you spend the night at my house, don't: go through my drawer of porn. It's very very organized.
34) Id stop my wedding for: a better wedding
35) The world could do without: most of the people infesting it
36) Id rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: lick the belly of a really big cockroach. Or listen to Creed.
37) My favorite blonde is: I don't like blondes, i like girls with dark hair.
38) PAPER CLIPS are more useful than: Dungeon and Dragons or Rennaisance Faires
39) If I do anything well, its: ride a bike
40) And by the way: I love a poop joke
1) My uncle once: owned a silver 280Z that I thought was the coolest car in the world
2) Never in my life: did I think I would work as a manager for a multi-national corporation
3) When I was five: my friends and I were playing Star Trek and I stuck a small rock in my ear to be the communicator. I had to have the doctor suck it out with a small vacuum and it hurt.
4) High School was: disappointing because once I got out I realized I could have gotten away with anything but was too scared to try.
5) I will never forget: my friends from Tennessee
6) I once met: a few famous people, mainly "rock star" types - I did meet Milton Berle at LAX once. That was awesome.
7) Theres this guy/girl I know who: can't poop without taking off all of his clothes and then showering afterwards.
8)Once, at a bar: a drunk old woman lifted her skirt and showed me her hairy bush
9) By noon Im usually: at work unless it's the weekend and then I'm probably out with friends
10) Last night: I watched Gangs of New York. Fucking terrible.
11) If I had only: been born Canadian
12) Next time I go to church, Ill: say what the fuck am I doing at church?"
13) Terry Schiavo: is dead
14) What worries me most: my heart murmur
15) When I turn my head left, I see: a white wall with an Ape Calendar on it
16) When I turn my head right, I see: my bed and open closet
17) You know Im lying when: i am talking about going to church or how great Gangs of New York was
18) You know what I miss most about the eighties: the absence of Hot Topic and real punk rock
19) If I were a character written by Shakespeare, Id be: fancy and wear a funny collar
20) By this time, next year: I will have four kids, drive a BMW, pray to Jebus daily and smoke a lot of weed
21) A better name for me would be: Fucky Ballcrusher
22) I have a hard time understanding: how Gangs of New York was nominated for best picture
23) If I ever go back to school Ill: get an MBA with an emphasis in non-profit business management
24) You know I like you if: i initiate the conversation and don't laugh at you
25) If I won an award, the first person Id thank would be: myself for being so awesome
26) Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens & Geraldine Ferraro: All ran for vice president, except for Darwin, Mozart and Slim Pickens.
27) Take my advice, never: fart in a hot car with no AC
28) My ideal breakfast is: a bowl of Special K with strawberries and soy milk
29) A song I love, but do not have is: "Cracklin' Rosie" by Shane MacGowan. Hard to find.
30) If you visit my hometown, I suggest: you turn around and leave, it's not so great here
31) Tulips, character flaws, microchips & track stars: all ran for vice president except for tulips, microchips and track stars.
32) Why wont anyone: throw a custard pie at Dick Cheney?
33) If you spend the night at my house, don't: go through my drawer of porn. It's very very organized.
34) Id stop my wedding for: a better wedding
35) The world could do without: most of the people infesting it
36) Id rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: lick the belly of a really big cockroach. Or listen to Creed.
37) My favorite blonde is: I don't like blondes, i like girls with dark hair.
38) PAPER CLIPS are more useful than: Dungeon and Dragons or Rennaisance Faires
39) If I do anything well, its: ride a bike
40) And by the way: I love a poop joke