irishandbuffy

Sometimes at lunch I just walk around and look at the people I work with and imagine their stories. What happens to them when the leave the office. We all have secrets what if all of sudden your secrets are public knowledge.

I am thinking way to much. I am trying to deal with life and think of everything but the big elephant in the middle of the room
B
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I have to go see a therapist. I am not happy about it but after a major panic attack today. I feel like there is no other choice. Either I deal with the demon inside of me or I die with it. It will eat me up from the inside out. I am going to pay some person to tell me that I need to confront my mother. Confront my past. Confront the abusers. Confront the abuse. So there will be someday I will look in the mirror and think that I am good enough to be loved and charished. Dont get me wrong I know that I am loved. I have an email that I carry with me in my wallet from my very best friend. I read it over and over. I cry and I laugh but I feel her there with me when I feel alone. I have a husband who loves me more than life itself. It just the part of me that loved so freely is getting smaller and smaller. I used to do anything for attention and loved anyone who gave me it. Now, I question everything. I hate it
Look I am talking about the elephant in the middle of the room.