For a good part of my life I have lived in the shadows. Shadow of my older sisters the ones with beauty and brains. The wanted ones. I use to do anything to get attention. To get the light to shine on me. However, she always overlooked me. I remember when I was sick with Mono. It was only when she caught me almost od'ing on tylenol did she bother to take me to the doctor. Understand by this point you could no longer see my chin line from the swollen glands. It had effected my liver and had she waited one more day I would have been in the hospital.
My mother never wanted another child. Why she had me I will never know. It must be the only thing I should thank the Catholic church for. She being the devote Catholic would have never had an abortion. Though I did find out that she tried to comitt suicide when she found out she was pregnant. Isnt that a mortal sin.
So up until about 2 years ago, I stood in the shadows of the perfect sisters. I stood in the shadow of the fucked up brother who got attention for always being in trouble.
So 2 years ago, she got pissed at me for whatever reason seem to cross her mind and told me she wished I was dead. That she hated me. I have not spoke to her since. I was free. I walked out of the shadow and found my beautiful sister Charitee. Who beside Irish is the only one who "gets" me. See, since I was a kid, I have gotten more and more reluctant to let people in. Feeling I was not good enough to be loved. Charitee, my sweet sweet amazing sister, has seen me at my lowest and picked me up. She has shine a light on me. I am forever greatful.
I saw her Friday night, after being apart for months. Part of me had to fight back the tears. Afraid that I would become this mush ball. That she would see how despreatly I missed her and how I was so glad to have her and Zippy back in my life.
For those who have met these two. Zippershrine is amazing and I love him dearly. We have the most intersting relationship. Our first conversation.
Z: It's about goddamn time
B: Why dont you kiss my ass.
How can you not love a man who amazes you when you think he is a living breathing grown up Peter Pan. I wish that I could share how much my mechainically inclined brother in law.
What can I say about Charitee. She is a beautiful goddess. Who people overlook far too much. It pisses me off when people think they can talk shit and it wont hurt her. Let's just say she has a tough skin but a wonderful heart. If you ever hurt her. Well, her big sister B will kick ass and take names later.
God ok... I am sure this was not the important thing I had to say but hell it is monday what the hell do you want?
B
My mother never wanted another child. Why she had me I will never know. It must be the only thing I should thank the Catholic church for. She being the devote Catholic would have never had an abortion. Though I did find out that she tried to comitt suicide when she found out she was pregnant. Isnt that a mortal sin.
So up until about 2 years ago, I stood in the shadows of the perfect sisters. I stood in the shadow of the fucked up brother who got attention for always being in trouble.
So 2 years ago, she got pissed at me for whatever reason seem to cross her mind and told me she wished I was dead. That she hated me. I have not spoke to her since. I was free. I walked out of the shadow and found my beautiful sister Charitee. Who beside Irish is the only one who "gets" me. See, since I was a kid, I have gotten more and more reluctant to let people in. Feeling I was not good enough to be loved. Charitee, my sweet sweet amazing sister, has seen me at my lowest and picked me up. She has shine a light on me. I am forever greatful.
I saw her Friday night, after being apart for months. Part of me had to fight back the tears. Afraid that I would become this mush ball. That she would see how despreatly I missed her and how I was so glad to have her and Zippy back in my life.
For those who have met these two. Zippershrine is amazing and I love him dearly. We have the most intersting relationship. Our first conversation.
Z: It's about goddamn time
B: Why dont you kiss my ass.
How can you not love a man who amazes you when you think he is a living breathing grown up Peter Pan. I wish that I could share how much my mechainically inclined brother in law.
What can I say about Charitee. She is a beautiful goddess. Who people overlook far too much. It pisses me off when people think they can talk shit and it wont hurt her. Let's just say she has a tough skin but a wonderful heart. If you ever hurt her. Well, her big sister B will kick ass and take names later.
God ok... I am sure this was not the important thing I had to say but hell it is monday what the hell do you want?
B
So, big sister B.. if I get canned tomorrow after my Project Review will you kick ass and take names later?? Trust me when I tell you that I'm freaking out.
I gotta go find my suit, press it, find a shirt and freakin' nylons and then get into bed.. have to be at work by 7am... doesn't seem early to you but I'm not usually there until about 9:30 or 10:00... uhg!
Love you kiddo!
I like it.. .
Do it again!