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iriseyes

Member Since 2004

Followers 9 Following 9

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Monday May 23, 2005

May 23, 2005
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For the second time.... fucking back button...

For the last year or so, I've had this strong desire to hook up (fool around, make out etc) with another girl. It may have started after I signed up here, I'm not really sure. For those of you who remember, I had my first crush on that girl in my psych class, and then there was Holly. Maybe it's because I haven't had sex in few weeks, and I haven't seen Shael in just as long, that I've been really into porn and masturbating lately. More so than ever.
The other day I went to Borders just to get out of the house and stop diddling with myself. Eventually I made my way to the "sexuality" section and checked out the erotica books. I wondered if there were any just involving girls, because that's the type of porn/erotica I'm typically into. After some searching, I found "The Best Lesbian Erotica 2005" in the Gay and Lesbian section downstairs. I wasn't sure if I wanted to get it at first, but then I figured that's where the best stuff would be... right?
The first night I read about 60 pages, 5 or 6 short stories. Some of them were really hot. Very easy and quick to read. BUT then came "packing" and "butch" stuff, that to be quite honest, freaked me out. To each her own, it just wasn't for me. The encounters I always envisioned in my head included a girl, just as she was, no strap-ons, and no one referring to herself as a man.
I've been calling this bisexual stage in my life a phase, because I've always known that I am straight and that at some point I would get over the whole hooking up with a girl thing. Maybe it's because I've been completely overloaded with sexual stuff lately, and who knows, maybe it will all return again sometime, but I think this phase is finally over. surreal

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