So, I'm a Stand Up Comedian now. Who knew, eh?
I'm quite reluctant to say that's what I am because well, first of all, one gig does not a career make (though I have others booked) and second, I don't think Im going to be a very good one...but then I thought, you know what? Many many people are bad at their jobs and they still use a job title. So there it is - I am a Stand Up Comedian now.
I am Iris Macro Vaseline III, Photographer, Comedian, AQA Researcher and all round nice person.
That's not my real name, by the way. In guess you wondered.
Talking of nice person though - I have a cold today and I was standing in the kitchen earlier complaining, and Mum said to me 'do you think there's a chance that this cold is a physical manifestation of all your nastiness, just coming out of you in flem form?'
Lovely.
And even 2 months ago, I would have burst into tears at a statement like that but life has given me a thicker-than-average skin. So I blinked and replied 'nah, there's not enough flem in the world to represent all the nastiness pent up inside me'.
And she said: 'yeah, probably true'.
Thanks Mum. Thum.
So like, come and see me do a gig in London, if you live in the area. I'm hilarious.
That might not be true.
But you know, it's surprisingly easy to get people to give you a microphone on any given night of the week and let you go nuts.
And I am firmly of the opinion that all Stand Up Comedians do this for one reason and one reason only.
We all have deep-seated personal issues that have messed us up at some point in our lives. Getting hold of a microphone, standing up in a room full of people and telling jokes is our self-important way of solving all our problems.
And if they laugh...well that's one more day we won't go home and put our heads in the oven.
Tis true. Talk to any Stand Up Comedian. Go on. Have a whole conversation with one. They are all incredibly self important and insular.
And that, ladies and gents, is the reason.
But seriously, come see me tell jokes. I'm self important and full of nastiness and that's the genius of it.
Also, I tell chav jokes and speak 'the language of the street' in an incredibly posh voice.
I'm told it's sexy
So how are you?
I'm quite reluctant to say that's what I am because well, first of all, one gig does not a career make (though I have others booked) and second, I don't think Im going to be a very good one...but then I thought, you know what? Many many people are bad at their jobs and they still use a job title. So there it is - I am a Stand Up Comedian now.
I am Iris Macro Vaseline III, Photographer, Comedian, AQA Researcher and all round nice person.
That's not my real name, by the way. In guess you wondered.
Talking of nice person though - I have a cold today and I was standing in the kitchen earlier complaining, and Mum said to me 'do you think there's a chance that this cold is a physical manifestation of all your nastiness, just coming out of you in flem form?'
Lovely.
And even 2 months ago, I would have burst into tears at a statement like that but life has given me a thicker-than-average skin. So I blinked and replied 'nah, there's not enough flem in the world to represent all the nastiness pent up inside me'.
And she said: 'yeah, probably true'.
Thanks Mum. Thum.
So like, come and see me do a gig in London, if you live in the area. I'm hilarious.
That might not be true.
But you know, it's surprisingly easy to get people to give you a microphone on any given night of the week and let you go nuts.
And I am firmly of the opinion that all Stand Up Comedians do this for one reason and one reason only.
We all have deep-seated personal issues that have messed us up at some point in our lives. Getting hold of a microphone, standing up in a room full of people and telling jokes is our self-important way of solving all our problems.
And if they laugh...well that's one more day we won't go home and put our heads in the oven.
Tis true. Talk to any Stand Up Comedian. Go on. Have a whole conversation with one. They are all incredibly self important and insular.
And that, ladies and gents, is the reason.
But seriously, come see me tell jokes. I'm self important and full of nastiness and that's the genius of it.
Also, I tell chav jokes and speak 'the language of the street' in an incredibly posh voice.
I'm told it's sexy
So how are you?
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
Brighton is short of some good stand up...So you NEED to come here and I'll be sitting in the front row x
i feel im probably more suited to the writing, but the monologue style ricky gervais does could also be a choice.