irina

Going up to Bard College tomorrow to speak with an admissions counselor. I'm nervous, but excited.

Thinking about it has opened up a lot of old wounds about my ability to accomplish things, and really just my worth as a human being. I know it wasn't me, and that only other people's failures stood in my way the first time I tried to go to college. But it's still hard to believe in yourself when absolutely nobody else does. Not even your own father. And it's hard to have faith in the general decency of humanity when all people ever seem to do is stab you in the back.

Anyways, none of you will have much of an idea what I'm talking about, really. Sometimes it's better that way.