irina

"i don't know what it is about you

but more than anything else....you fill me with...

a terrible need to lie down"

~Pav


So much grief; I wake up crying, I cry myself to sleep, every time I'm alone I think about you now. So many questions will go eternally unanswered. So much anger; but when were you ever not doing something that made me angry?

I just don't really know what to do with myself. Most of the world around me has essentially moved on. (Although the comments in your journal reached page 7 today; I know you're thrilled.) I'm not ready though. This isn't quite real to me yet.

There were times that you held me close to you when the rest of the world was pushing me away; other times, you were no more than a few familiar letters and a picture on my buddy list. But you were always there in one form or another. Until now. I don't understand how the Earth is still turning.