irina

You pray to God that the phone will ring and his name will show up on caller ID. Maybe you'll pick up the phone and talk to him for 2 minutes or so. Just long enough to be polite, to gauge his interest, and to make plans. Or maybe you won't pick up at all, and he'll leave a voicemail to let you know when he can pencil you into his busy schedule. You'll call him back in a day or two; make him wait like he made you wait. You both know it's just a game anyway; you think about him every time you walk through Union Square, he thinks about you every time he admires a beautiful blade. And on the lonelier nights you think about each other just because.

You wish you wouldn't think about him at all though. Because you know he isn't actually going to call. But then again, why would he? You don't believe in God in the first place.

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I don't really feel comfortable around most men who are interested in me. I'm especially horrible around the ones with honorable intentions. If this describes you, I sincerely apologize. But I guarantee I'm doing you a favor in the long run. As for the ones with dishonorable intentions, feel free to use me whenever you'd like; just be sure to dispose of me neatly when you are finished. (If you leave me out to rot, I'll stink up everything.)

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My Super-Awesome Rocking-&-Rolling Funtabulous California Vacation Summary is imminent. Like as soon as I stop being lazy. Ha.