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irina

Brooklyn/Woodstock/Other, New York

Member Since 2004

Followers 334 Following 139

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Thursday May 06, 2004

May 6, 2004
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My jeans are really dirty. I guess that's what happens when you wear them 4 days in a row. The people I know all have surprisingly comfortable couches.

My thoughts are so scattered. Like my head is overflowing and so many of my thoughts are just spilling over the edges and away from me. My thoughts are water and I don't know how to turn off the motherfucking faucet. I can't type fast enough to catch everything, but even if I could you wouldn't read it. So I guess it doesn't matter, since it'll all be lost anyways. And that's really alright, since it isn't worth much in the first place.

I'm feeling pretty hideous right now. Inside and out. Feeling unwanted. I have no sense of self-worth whatsoever. I'm so sensitive, so easily influenced by everything happening around me. I'm reactive, rather than proactive. I can't make choices for myself, I constantly question my own decisions. But if I'm not in charge of anything, nothing can be blamed on me, right? Right?

I'm so fucking angsty. I think I must be broken. (Somebody fix me please.) And it all starts to sound the same after a while, doesn't it? Can anybody find my off switch? I think I'm done now.
VIEW 27 of 27 COMMENTS
fantomex:
That is some major, economy-sized suckage, all right. I have faith that you'll manage to land on your feet before long - you're doing a MUCH better job of facing and dealing with your problems than I did in similar circumstances some years back.

Did they give you any reason for rejecting your set? Has to be the photography, or lighting, or something like that - 'cause it can't be they failed to notice the hotness that is you...

Be strong. Stay safe. Go here for a smile.
May 9, 2004
mr_ruckus:
kiss

Life Is Opportunity

Life is opportunity!
Every day,
All seem it gray,
Can stimulate new thought.

Chance is not what rules the world
There's purpose everywhere,
It's just for us to recognise
The pearl that's waiting there.

The opportunity for us,
To learn and serve and grow.
The harder that the 'problem' seems
The higher we can go.

What is ours will come to us,
So fear becomes inept.
Just find the gift in everything
And we'll become adept.



[Edited on May 10, 2004 12:58PM]
May 10, 2004

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