irina

I was all depressed again yesterday and today. Yesterday morning, I overheard my parents making light humorous conversation over how ungrateful I am. i'm not even going to bother explaining how much bullshit that is. Anyway, my parents still haven't learned how thin the walls in this house are and just how sharp my hearing can be. I asked them to lower their voices if they wanted to continue the conversation. My mother has since apologized to me a few times; my father hasn't said a word to me, besides "I need the powercord." (We're currently sharing a powercord for our iBooks.)

Also I've been having more nightmares, like one with these utterly horrid parasites invading my body. And the problem with these nightmares are that they are so damn lucid; there really isn't anything surreal about them at all. Several hours later, my body still feels dirty from the parasite things. And then there was another one in which my mother went absolutely insane and started saying these awful things to me, and for a while I wasn't even sure it was a dream, mostly because of what happened yesterday morning, I think.

And yet, no matter how bad my nightmares are, sleeping is still the only thing I want to do. It's the only way to escape besides killing myself, and I just don't want to do that... yet. So i've been sleeping all day. In fact, I'm going back to sleep now. I hate you.

EDIT: okay, I don't really hate you! I just read a thread in SGNY (i love everyone in there so god damn much,) and freyja, RxQueen, minimaliZm: I ADORE YOU ALL! Can the four of us get married and run away together to Maui or Amsterdam or Bali or something? Please? You guys just fixed my day so much.