invinciblecity

People only say "everything happens for a reason" when something bad happens. When something good happens, it's either "that was good luck" or "I'm proud of your achievement." So when its good, its hard work or dumb luck, otherwise its theodicy.

But there are two senses in which we can understand "everything happens for a reason." The first sense is the commonly understood one where something bad goes down as a prelude to something great. We lose a job so we can get a career. We get dumped just before we meet the love of our lives. The "reason" here is a divine plan concocted by whoever is playing the Sims game of our lives to override what we're doing now in favor of a better strategy.

The second sense in which everything happens for a reason is that people act according to reasons. Not the universe, not god, people. People have to make choices based on limited information, vague goals and confused motives. Sometimes what they choose is not in their own best interest. Sometimes what is in there best interest conflicts with what is in ours. Everything that people can control happens for reasons that people use to make their choices. Everything else is just the workings of physical determinism.

Every time I have been hurt or anxious about the things that happen in my life, it has been because I forgot the sense in which everything happens for reasons.