i'm so over this tumor thing..... 
last night some friends stopped by and they brought me a tiny slice of my fav desert. raspberry cheesecake. *melts*
all i wanted was to eat that cheesecake.....so i did. well...that was a really bad move on my part apparently. because i was sick...all night...again.
i've gotten to the point where some things i can keep down and some things i cant. i'm learning what is okay to eat...and unfortunately none of it is cheesecake.
.
the last few days my vision has gotten worse.
i've started seeing spots when my headaches from hell start coming on.
my hands and feet and face are so swollen...my eyes are all puffy. i wish more than anything i felt up to company, cause i'd have someone rub my feet. i miss that. now when i need it...people cant be around because i'm so fucking tired all the time . 
it kinda freaked me out cause i went in to take a shower and felt remarkably better until i looked down and noticed i was losing hair. not enough to make me go bald or anything, but its thinning quite a bit.
i'm really sad because i'm not gonna feel anywhere near well enough to go to PHP. and that makes me sad. because i love hanging out with all you people...and the last one i went to was SO much fun. so if you can go.....and have a GREAT time for me.
i go to the doctor on weds. part of me is really relieved and the other part is terrified.
i have 3 treatment options:
*brain surgery (yeah. that scares the ever loving shit out of me)
*radiation to shrink the tumor (its not confirmed cancerous, but they often use radiation to shrink the size of pitiary tumors so they quit pressing on the optic nerve)
*intensive hormone therapy (which only works SOMETIMES, and wont necessarily shrink the tumor...but it can correct most of the symptoms...except the vision loss)
*sighs*
so since i have marked vision loss, its probaly gonna have to be 1 or 2.
i'm not even trying to be tough about all this.....lol
im scared SHITLESS.
i love you all. thanks for keeping up with these journals, and commenting so positively. it really brightens my day.
xo xo xo
last night some friends stopped by and they brought me a tiny slice of my fav desert. raspberry cheesecake. *melts*
all i wanted was to eat that cheesecake.....so i did. well...that was a really bad move on my part apparently. because i was sick...all night...again.
i've gotten to the point where some things i can keep down and some things i cant. i'm learning what is okay to eat...and unfortunately none of it is cheesecake.
.
the last few days my vision has gotten worse.
i've started seeing spots when my headaches from hell start coming on.
my hands and feet and face are so swollen...my eyes are all puffy. i wish more than anything i felt up to company, cause i'd have someone rub my feet. i miss that. now when i need it...people cant be around because i'm so fucking tired all the time
.
it kinda freaked me out cause i went in to take a shower and felt remarkably better until i looked down and noticed i was losing hair. not enough to make me go bald or anything, but its thinning quite a bit.
i'm really sad because i'm not gonna feel anywhere near well enough to go to PHP. and that makes me sad. because i love hanging out with all you people...and the last one i went to was SO much fun. so if you can go.....and have a GREAT time for me.
i go to the doctor on weds. part of me is really relieved and the other part is terrified.
i have 3 treatment options:
*brain surgery (yeah. that scares the ever loving shit out of me)
*radiation to shrink the tumor (its not confirmed cancerous, but they often use radiation to shrink the size of pitiary tumors so they quit pressing on the optic nerve)
*intensive hormone therapy (which only works SOMETIMES, and wont necessarily shrink the tumor...but it can correct most of the symptoms...except the vision loss)
*sighs*
so since i have marked vision loss, its probaly gonna have to be 1 or 2.
i'm not even trying to be tough about all this.....lol
im scared SHITLESS.
i love you all. thanks for keeping up with these journals, and commenting so positively. it really brightens my day.
xo xo xo
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