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inlikeflynn

Portland, OR

Member Since 2004

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Friday Jun 17, 2005

Jun 17, 2005
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The Good News: I got plenty of sleep last night.

The Bad News: I got plenty of sleep last night.



I don't remember falling asleep. I don't even remember the events that led up to falling asleep. Laying down, for instance? I don't remember that. I got home, posted to my journals, ate dinner, had a glass of gatorade, opened up my notes and Microsoft Word, went to the bathroom to brush my teeth, and then woke up at 8:30 this morning.

I panicked a little. I panicked a lot. Have you ever been so terrified of some steadily encroaching event that you actively entertained, even for a second, some drastic, maybe horrible, or even dangerous plan to somehow avoid it? I know that at least once this morning, while washing my face in the sink of the library john, I briefly considered getting into some kind of car accident. The only thing that stopped me was knowing that the repair bill for the car would be astronomical.

Everything turned out all right. I pushed the thought aside almost immediately after it occurred to me, went back to the computer, and finished writing and cramming for my exam. The result was better than disastrous but considerably less than ok. I won't fail Women in Lit, thanks to the 11-page paper I wrote in a little under 4 hours, but I certainly won't get an A. Reasoning & Critical Thinking is going to be a train wreck. I'll be happy if I make a C, or anywhere in that immediate vicinity. I'm just hoping that I haven't blown my scholarship re-enrollment before even having it approved. This next semester was supposed to be a financial relief period. My new job, plus tuition paid for by the state... I wanted to save us some money. And it seems that I may have buggered it all over again. It's depressing.


Other things are pretty much all right. Straight from campus, I called Lorra and Rachel and dragged them down to the sinkhole with me to unwind. The new float I bought is my newest best friend. Water was nice and warm, and there were fresh blackberry patches all up and down the road leading out to the highway, so we got out and we picked berries. And we ate them. Communing with nature. It was good fun. And now I'm dressed down for the evening, and I have the fan running, and I just picked up The Serpent and the Rainbow and In the Mouth of Madness from my mailbox. Tomorrow morning we'll go back to the sinkhole to get some proper sun, and I'll try to get rid of this dread in the pit of my stomach.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
figmentation:
*giggle*
I love reading your posts...
they always make me smile...
thank you.
Jun 18, 2005
mrshateyourself:
Glad you decided to avoid the car wreck. Good choice, I feel. wink
Jun 19, 2005

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