"The world is so full of a number of things I know we should all be as happy as. But are we? No. Definitely no. Positively no. Decidedly no. Mm-mm."
Some guy gave me a free package of croutons at Publix today. Croutons. He swooped in as I was paying for my breakfast and waiting for my receipt and offered up a little platter, crouton packages all lined up and arranged by flavor, and bid me take one. So I did; they were free and I was hungry, so I took a small bag of croutons from this man and tried to fashion it into some kind of important life lesson. I couldn't think of anything.
Since when are croutons a snack food, though? I mean, I assume that's what he intended me to use them for when he gave them to me. There they are in a little snackable bag... he didn't offer me any tiny salads to go with it... and I suppose that eating croutons is really no different from eating melba toast or any other kind of garlicky, toasted snack food. It just seems kind of on par with eating bacon bits out of the jar. Yes, bacon is a food, but something about making bacon into a topping alters its chemistry. From that point on, it is no longer socially acceptable to eat it from the package. I feel like croutons ought to follow the same rules..
Whatever, though, I ate them. That was my breakfast: an apple, a peach smoothie, and a small package of croutons.

Some guy gave me a free package of croutons at Publix today. Croutons. He swooped in as I was paying for my breakfast and waiting for my receipt and offered up a little platter, crouton packages all lined up and arranged by flavor, and bid me take one. So I did; they were free and I was hungry, so I took a small bag of croutons from this man and tried to fashion it into some kind of important life lesson. I couldn't think of anything.
Since when are croutons a snack food, though? I mean, I assume that's what he intended me to use them for when he gave them to me. There they are in a little snackable bag... he didn't offer me any tiny salads to go with it... and I suppose that eating croutons is really no different from eating melba toast or any other kind of garlicky, toasted snack food. It just seems kind of on par with eating bacon bits out of the jar. Yes, bacon is a food, but something about making bacon into a topping alters its chemistry. From that point on, it is no longer socially acceptable to eat it from the package. I feel like croutons ought to follow the same rules..
Whatever, though, I ate them. That was my breakfast: an apple, a peach smoothie, and a small package of croutons.

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