inlikeflynn

every last square inch of the tangible world seems wholly saturated with information vital to my personal growth and success, and at times I feel a complete inability to parse, sift, organize, or absorb any of it. and the sudden urgency I feel to get it all sorted out immediately is represented by an enormous digital clock in my head, ticking loudly down to zero. I open up my head to take it in, but I don't stop to think of the pressure differential, and everything floods in all at once, and I overload and shut down. everything I need to know requires something else I don't have, and all those things require a host of others, and the only solution is to travel back in time and completely reinvent myself; cultivate better study habits and accumulate work experience, pay better attention to all of the things my professors tried to impress upon me, ask all the right questions and make the right friends in the right places.

I suspect I may have a mild anxiety disorder. during fits I feel panicky and small and ill-equipped to deal with grown-up responsibilities. things that ought to be simple. I can't prioritize tasks. it takes up a lot of valuable time talking myself down.

It's decidedly worse and far more common when I'm not being productive, which is usually here in tallahassee, or home in coral springs. laziness is at the root of it. my penchant for putting things off.

urgh. anyway.

I'm not sure what kind of a resolution can be expected at times like these, but I've spent so much time just sitting here thinking about it and writing/re-writing that I'm not really in it anymore. so, with that out of the way for the time being, I can get to the matter of my new bicycle:



Schwinn Jaguar 7-speed.

it's love.