I’ve seen a few people, @brubs, @romous117 and @adam_bovary talk about writing a blog about their journeys. They seem to worry that they would be long and people would not read or get bored, so I will post one. Maybe this will help them and others find their words.
My mental health journey started at 15 years old. I was diagnosed with severe rheumatoid arthritis as it started eating my body from the inside out. I sat through health class as the teacher taught about old age and arthritis. I tried to push through sports, as a young boy growing into a male adult, and the pain crushed me. I missed half my school year at 17 because of surgeries. By 23, both of my hips were so bad that I had to have them surgically replaced with metal. My first suicidal thoughts came around this time. What was left in life but more pain?
At 30 I started having allergic reactions to my meds and started having more health problems, which led to my first full panic attack at 34. I thought my heart would explode in my chest. I couldn’t breathe. I lost feeling in my feet and hands. My mind was so overloaded I couldn’t focus and couldn’t see. I thought I was dying. Since then trying to manage my ups and downs I have still struggled with my mental health.
I joined SG out of curiosity. Left after a year, but then came back a little later, looking for something. I started communicating with people. I started talking to models, like @doncella, @somer, @marlene and @melyse. I started spending more time messaging and commenting than looking at pics. In Covid it became a lifeline of socializing. I even started talking to @dtimm87 and discovered there were good guys on here. The biggest reward was @olgakulaga. She came on here around the same time I did. I don’t remember what I posted, or why she commented on it, but I discovered her. I instantly noticed her beauty and we continued to talk. Believe it or not she only had a thousand or so followers, but people quickly discovered her. She had the time to talk often. I loved her blogs, her passion about the protests for her country. We talked more and more. It got so I would feel a joy in my heart getting that email notification that I had a DM from @olgakulaga. We both were down a bit and we started sharing. Everyday I would write to her one thing that made me smile that day. She would do the same with me. I know it helped me, and I hope it helped her. Even now that she has thousands and thousands of followers, she finds time to talk to me. I fully understood the true beauty of this site and this community. After all this, @olgakulaga is still a great beauty like many others on here, but in my eyes I now see the most beautiful woman when I see her. The more I have gotten to know @olgakulaga they more I love her.
I love this site now. I still struggle with my mental health, but this site, these people help me and provide support. This is also why I defend this site and these members and models from those who don’t treat the site as it deserves. I hope this blog helps some. Let’s see who reads it.
