persistence of memory
the clocks melt, looking like puddles of mercury reflecting the ticking Cheshire cat faces of swiss timepieces.
time, under heat and pressure, begins to flow and puddle, filling the ruts of life with stagnant pools of fetid memories.
and the question remains, how to move forward?
How to move on beyond the wounds and hurts of another era. how to make the best of this life and this situation so that there can be a bright future.
No one disputes my wounds, no one disputes the wrongs done to me. No one raises a single sound of protest against my right to equal shares in feelings of loss, betrayal, anger, hurt, and righteous indignation.
But once i've mourned, and raged, and cried, and screamed out my protest to the heavens, what is left?
a vessel, poured out of its bitter contents, must be filled with something new, else it serves no purpose and should be smashed.
The problem is, like a weeping baby, the indignities i've suffered are the greatest ills i can imagine. I've experienced relatively little else in 30 years of life that can compare to my closest friends and loved ones turning against me, turning a blind eye to my pain, and loving my enemies.
I've heard those cliche phrases: "move on with your life," and "it's all in your perspective," and "you're worth more than that." But those phrases sounded like a symphony played on tin children's toy instruments. Inadequate, grating, caustic.
And today I had a realization. A sort of mini-enlightenment, if i can be pardoned the hubris of borrowing that term.
the earth is huge. a limitless source of wonder and exploration. In the third of a human life i have barely begun to scratch the surface of its mysteries.
And yet, from a distant perspective, it is but one of a group of planets in this solar system. Further distant, this solar system is but one of many within the galaxy, and this galaxy is but one of millions within the known universe. And so, the war and destruction on earth becomes petty and pointless viewed from this distant perspective.
Similarly, though i was indeed betrayed, 18 years of betrayal cannot compare to a life full of adventure. Events greater than those wait to eclipse those hateful memories with times of joy, understanding, hope, and beauty. Rather than looking for answers to heal the wounds of the past, I should seek experiences to dwarf them, just as the scale of our universe dwarfs human battles over oil and politics. A life well lived weakens the grip of hatred in our world. A life of love and victory triumphs over decades of betrayal.
And those relationships of yesterday? those loved ones who hurt and wounded?
They are gone, not out of anger, but because they cannot begin to understand the new me, the mature me, the me with experiences that dwarf their petty interference. the Free me
the Real me
the clocks melt, looking like puddles of mercury reflecting the ticking Cheshire cat faces of swiss timepieces.
time, under heat and pressure, begins to flow and puddle, filling the ruts of life with stagnant pools of fetid memories.
and the question remains, how to move forward?
How to move on beyond the wounds and hurts of another era. how to make the best of this life and this situation so that there can be a bright future.
No one disputes my wounds, no one disputes the wrongs done to me. No one raises a single sound of protest against my right to equal shares in feelings of loss, betrayal, anger, hurt, and righteous indignation.
But once i've mourned, and raged, and cried, and screamed out my protest to the heavens, what is left?
a vessel, poured out of its bitter contents, must be filled with something new, else it serves no purpose and should be smashed.
The problem is, like a weeping baby, the indignities i've suffered are the greatest ills i can imagine. I've experienced relatively little else in 30 years of life that can compare to my closest friends and loved ones turning against me, turning a blind eye to my pain, and loving my enemies.
I've heard those cliche phrases: "move on with your life," and "it's all in your perspective," and "you're worth more than that." But those phrases sounded like a symphony played on tin children's toy instruments. Inadequate, grating, caustic.
And today I had a realization. A sort of mini-enlightenment, if i can be pardoned the hubris of borrowing that term.
the earth is huge. a limitless source of wonder and exploration. In the third of a human life i have barely begun to scratch the surface of its mysteries.
And yet, from a distant perspective, it is but one of a group of planets in this solar system. Further distant, this solar system is but one of many within the galaxy, and this galaxy is but one of millions within the known universe. And so, the war and destruction on earth becomes petty and pointless viewed from this distant perspective.
Similarly, though i was indeed betrayed, 18 years of betrayal cannot compare to a life full of adventure. Events greater than those wait to eclipse those hateful memories with times of joy, understanding, hope, and beauty. Rather than looking for answers to heal the wounds of the past, I should seek experiences to dwarf them, just as the scale of our universe dwarfs human battles over oil and politics. A life well lived weakens the grip of hatred in our world. A life of love and victory triumphs over decades of betrayal.
And those relationships of yesterday? those loved ones who hurt and wounded?
They are gone, not out of anger, but because they cannot begin to understand the new me, the mature me, the me with experiences that dwarf their petty interference. the Free me
the Real me
hambonesweets:
Way to make a girl feel insignifigant. 
hambonesweets:
There are lots more funny "banned" commercials like that one if you keep looking around.