http://nipa1980.blogspot.com.au/2012/02/judgement.html
how do you judge decisions?.. and how do you judge the person behind those choices?...
without going into any detail.. i've made some undoubtably questionable decisions over the last few months.. decisions i knew went against my buddhist beliefs.. and choices which ultimately have hurt people...
i feel awful for causing such anguish.. and i myself hurt.. as the karmic consequences of my decisions play themselves out.. there is no doubt that if i hadn't made such choices.. then i would not be going through this.. and would still have the friendship of someone who has provided me so much strength over the last nine months...
but maybe the hardest thing to balance in my mind.. is that although i know my actions were incorrect.. i still take from them memories that i will treasure always.. and i still wish things had turned out differently.. though i do accept that they haven't...
does this make me a bad person?.. i've crossed a line i shouldn't have crossed.. and contributed to a situation i wouldn't wish on anybody.. let alone someone i would do anything to protect...
do i judge myself on the choice i made at the time.. or should i judge myself on the person i was before.. and during.. and continue to be now.. i'm still ultimately the person i was before.. though no doubt wiser.. and just like any other person.. capable of making a decision which maybe i shouldn't have...
i've hurt and frustrated my friends as i continue to struggle with the consequences of my actions.. but i know that they ultimately accept me for who i am.. despite how counter productive some of my actions might be...
they want the best for me.. they care for me.. and i'm amazed at the support and love they have shown me the last few weeks.. i can never put into words the level of kindness they have shown me.. they haven't judged me by my choices.. but rather have forgiven me them...
i guess despite all the questioning of myself above.. i know who i am.. and if i was talking to someone else suffering as a result of their actions i'd tell them to allow themselves compassion for their mistakes.. to remember who they truly are.. and to forgive themselves for being human...
as buddha himself said..
..if your compassion does not include yourself.. it is incomplete...
we all deserve forgiveness.. from those who want to be in our lives.. and of ourselves...
how do you judge decisions?.. and how do you judge the person behind those choices?...
without going into any detail.. i've made some undoubtably questionable decisions over the last few months.. decisions i knew went against my buddhist beliefs.. and choices which ultimately have hurt people...
i feel awful for causing such anguish.. and i myself hurt.. as the karmic consequences of my decisions play themselves out.. there is no doubt that if i hadn't made such choices.. then i would not be going through this.. and would still have the friendship of someone who has provided me so much strength over the last nine months...
but maybe the hardest thing to balance in my mind.. is that although i know my actions were incorrect.. i still take from them memories that i will treasure always.. and i still wish things had turned out differently.. though i do accept that they haven't...
does this make me a bad person?.. i've crossed a line i shouldn't have crossed.. and contributed to a situation i wouldn't wish on anybody.. let alone someone i would do anything to protect...
do i judge myself on the choice i made at the time.. or should i judge myself on the person i was before.. and during.. and continue to be now.. i'm still ultimately the person i was before.. though no doubt wiser.. and just like any other person.. capable of making a decision which maybe i shouldn't have...
i've hurt and frustrated my friends as i continue to struggle with the consequences of my actions.. but i know that they ultimately accept me for who i am.. despite how counter productive some of my actions might be...
they want the best for me.. they care for me.. and i'm amazed at the support and love they have shown me the last few weeks.. i can never put into words the level of kindness they have shown me.. they haven't judged me by my choices.. but rather have forgiven me them...
i guess despite all the questioning of myself above.. i know who i am.. and if i was talking to someone else suffering as a result of their actions i'd tell them to allow themselves compassion for their mistakes.. to remember who they truly are.. and to forgive themselves for being human...
as buddha himself said..
..if your compassion does not include yourself.. it is incomplete...
we all deserve forgiveness.. from those who want to be in our lives.. and of ourselves...
physis:
