FIrst official Blog on this incredible site! How exciting! There will hopefully be many more of these to come after today. I have decided to embark on this little adventure I like to call "Fuck the plan" where I put aside all moments of reservation and hesitation to do something I've been longing to do for so long now- become a hopeful.
Here's a short back story of my adventure thus far for anyone who cares to indulge in details. In the 23 years I've had to decide a purpose for my seemingly normal life, I've committed myself to no real road of travel. I've gone from aspiration to aspiration pretty effortlessly, feeling less than inspired to fully commit to one. I don't have any real reason to complain about my situation. I live a good life with people I love and care about who give me just as much support as my favorite racer back bra. I would be lying however if I said that something wasn't missing.
My first experience with @suicidegirls was with a set of my favorite SG to this day- Radeo. I was absolutely blown away. It was like a light clicked that there was an entire community build around bad ass chicks exuding sultriness. And why not?!? I thought it was sexy as hell. It was exactly the kind of sexiness I had felt in myself for so long but hadn't seen played out on film. It was inspiring in a way that nothing in my life had been up to that point.
So I knew I had to be a part of it. There wasn't any doubt about that-just a hesitation as to how. You see, being human, I have daily social struggles. And being the daughter of a man like the one who raised me, I had some pretty major physical and emotional insecurities. Each day growing up was a struggle in finding who I actually was versus how I saw myself. I dealt with depression, had diet issues, and ultimately supressed my personality for fear of being shamed for being myself.
In more recent years, I've dealt with those struggles in a different manner and have found a way to invest more of myself in my life. It is okay to be me- whatever that may be. I may not become a suicidegirl at the end of all this. I may not be the best qualified or most attractive. I understand that, and it isn't until now that I've accepted it. It isn't until now that I've decided to "Fuck the plan" of fitting into society's definition of proper and pretty.
I am thrilled to post this first blog and to those who took the time to read it, thank you. You have no idea how much it means. Feel free to follow my on IG @Inked_Riot and here of course :)
