Monday, May 9, 2011: Vampire for a Day
Here I sit, hiding in the cool darkness of a house with all the blinds and curtains drawn... Why you may ask? Because I am a color not found in nature. I am a crispy, sun dried version of my former self. I am stupid and did not wear sunblock of any form yesterday whilst working in the garlic patch with Hubby and Bori-al-is yesterday for seven glorious hours. Up side- we have 1500 baby garlics planted. own side- I am a lobster. The warm sun felt great, right up until I started smelling charred flesh knowing it was my own. So today I am constantly slathering myself in lotions and aloe juice. Taking Tylenol with a fevered passion, and drinking a poop-ton of Gatorade, since I've proven that hydration is the key to not peeling like a damn snake.
Staying inside today isn't all bad. There is plenty to do indoors. I've done a seriously in detail vacuuming and dusting of the house. Washed windows, worked on internal 'puter cleaning (hard drives wise), editing pictures taken this weekend, and cleaned up the mess left by the great kitty car war early this morning between Tigress and Morganna. I don't know who won, but I have found bloody cat claw tips- pulling a couple form Tigress's scalp, vacuumed up almost a whole cat's worth of shredded hair, and soothed the anxious nerves of the guinea pigs who bared witness to the fight. Don't know what exactly happened but the fight was near the pig's cages, so I'm guessing Tigress was upstairs investigating the little critter's and Morganna decided to defend their honor. Good for Morganna- perhaps not so good for Tigress.
Saturday, I was home alone as Hubby ended up having to work a 24 hour shift- bummer. After the blog I posted Saturday, I moved our pop-up camper and a project trailer to less lawn mowing problematic places and got to work being artsy. I started a painting to look like my business card for the craft fair in June (you can see my business card taped to the isle above the painting in the picture), but then decided it's too bright and powerful to try to do lettering on, so I finished it, hung it on the wall in the living room and started a new one.
This is the final product after a couple finishing touches yesterday morning prior to gardening. Is it eye catching enough?
Also on Saturday- we received a letter with the results from Hubby's blood work last week. Ya know- the blood work that had absolutely not a F*in thing to do with why we had him at the doctors in the first place. And I laughed! A whole hearted "In your face Doctor Bitch" laugh. This letter was typed and signed by the bitch herself- and I knew with every keystroke she typed- she must have winced in agony. Why? I shall explain... To quote the letter "Mr. Hubby- your cholesterol was 198, normal is less than 200. Your HDL was 43, normal being greater than 45. Your LDL cholesterol was 110, desired value being less than 130. Your triglyceride result was o135, with normal being less than 150.." Take that you money grubbing, bitch HMO doctor! We eat lots of butter in this house. We use salt- ya know that thing on your french fries that doctors say contribute to high blood pressure? But we use it, we have five different kinds of sea salt in this house.
We don't necessarily watch what we eat, but we don't eat a lot of crap food. All you saw was his weight and prayed for the worst. You were hoping for high blood pressure, un-diagnosed diabetes, high cholesterol, the works! Oh- but poop you... he has none of those problems. I dare say my hubby's test results are far better then your's would be. My hubby is a large man, full of love, caring, and the product of good eats. But he's also a healthy man, and I think the blood test results prove it. Bitch Doctor 0, Healthy Hubby 2. This is the second time in two years his test results have proven the bitch wrong.
And now... I think I'm going to sign off. I have to slather my tender skin in lotion once again and I think I'm due for another round of Tylenol. That and there is a record breaking industrial fire in Downtown Grand Rapids and I want to watch the news coverage...
Here I sit, hiding in the cool darkness of a house with all the blinds and curtains drawn... Why you may ask? Because I am a color not found in nature. I am a crispy, sun dried version of my former self. I am stupid and did not wear sunblock of any form yesterday whilst working in the garlic patch with Hubby and Bori-al-is yesterday for seven glorious hours. Up side- we have 1500 baby garlics planted. own side- I am a lobster. The warm sun felt great, right up until I started smelling charred flesh knowing it was my own. So today I am constantly slathering myself in lotions and aloe juice. Taking Tylenol with a fevered passion, and drinking a poop-ton of Gatorade, since I've proven that hydration is the key to not peeling like a damn snake.
Staying inside today isn't all bad. There is plenty to do indoors. I've done a seriously in detail vacuuming and dusting of the house. Washed windows, worked on internal 'puter cleaning (hard drives wise), editing pictures taken this weekend, and cleaned up the mess left by the great kitty car war early this morning between Tigress and Morganna. I don't know who won, but I have found bloody cat claw tips- pulling a couple form Tigress's scalp, vacuumed up almost a whole cat's worth of shredded hair, and soothed the anxious nerves of the guinea pigs who bared witness to the fight. Don't know what exactly happened but the fight was near the pig's cages, so I'm guessing Tigress was upstairs investigating the little critter's and Morganna decided to defend their honor. Good for Morganna- perhaps not so good for Tigress.
Saturday, I was home alone as Hubby ended up having to work a 24 hour shift- bummer. After the blog I posted Saturday, I moved our pop-up camper and a project trailer to less lawn mowing problematic places and got to work being artsy. I started a painting to look like my business card for the craft fair in June (you can see my business card taped to the isle above the painting in the picture), but then decided it's too bright and powerful to try to do lettering on, so I finished it, hung it on the wall in the living room and started a new one.
This is the final product after a couple finishing touches yesterday morning prior to gardening. Is it eye catching enough?
Also on Saturday- we received a letter with the results from Hubby's blood work last week. Ya know- the blood work that had absolutely not a F*in thing to do with why we had him at the doctors in the first place. And I laughed! A whole hearted "In your face Doctor Bitch" laugh. This letter was typed and signed by the bitch herself- and I knew with every keystroke she typed- she must have winced in agony. Why? I shall explain... To quote the letter "Mr. Hubby- your cholesterol was 198, normal is less than 200. Your HDL was 43, normal being greater than 45. Your LDL cholesterol was 110, desired value being less than 130. Your triglyceride result was o135, with normal being less than 150.." Take that you money grubbing, bitch HMO doctor! We eat lots of butter in this house. We use salt- ya know that thing on your french fries that doctors say contribute to high blood pressure? But we use it, we have five different kinds of sea salt in this house.
We don't necessarily watch what we eat, but we don't eat a lot of crap food. All you saw was his weight and prayed for the worst. You were hoping for high blood pressure, un-diagnosed diabetes, high cholesterol, the works! Oh- but poop you... he has none of those problems. I dare say my hubby's test results are far better then your's would be. My hubby is a large man, full of love, caring, and the product of good eats. But he's also a healthy man, and I think the blood test results prove it. Bitch Doctor 0, Healthy Hubby 2. This is the second time in two years his test results have proven the bitch wrong.
And now... I think I'm going to sign off. I have to slather my tender skin in lotion once again and I think I'm due for another round of Tylenol. That and there is a record breaking industrial fire in Downtown Grand Rapids and I want to watch the news coverage...