injuredcyclist

lots of unanswered questions tonight. i feel like ive reverted to how i was before i left for michigan before college. difference is i know a ton of great people that i love. its just that a lot of times i feel invisible.

i miss my old body. i wish i had the willpower to shape myself into the form this mind used to inhabit....
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what the hell do i have to do to get people to respond to emails about subleases in san francisco? seven different people, one fuckin reply. im just trying to leave town, throw me a bone.

so the beta version is the real thing now eh? almost feel obligated to put new pictures up or write a real description of myself. meh. later.

ive spent five minutes browsing around, and i gotta tell you, i really cant stand this version. when i open up the boards, i dont really want to see the contents of the thread that was last posted...
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i dont want to say im drunk. but i will say im very buzzed. good night tonight. im half way to getting to law school! only three tests, one five page paper, and a couple of other bullshit things left. i can hear san francisco calling me from more than 2000 miles away.

saw my roommates play night. it was a good show. went to...
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ive got a test in three hours and i cant get motivated to study for it at all. i know the material in a general sense, and it is a mulitple choice test. still. blah. one my last four tests as an undergrad.

im beginning to discover that one of the very few things that relaxes me anymore is looking for places in san francisco and getting stuff together for the move.

the frustration ebbs and flows.

its 75 degrees outside and 80 in my room. though i hate our basement, im thinking about sleeping down there tonight (my roommates dont believe me, but i swear that fucker is haunted). thinking i should just drink a lot so ill pass out. fuckin supposed to be just as hot tomorrow too.

yesterday was very, very good. took it easy around the house before work, getting stuff boxed up even though im not leaving for more than a month. picked up a book and grabbed something to eat. work wasnt so bad, even though i made a big deal of some stuff i should have seen coming. one of my coworkers is a lazy stupid jackass that...
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i feel like all im doing right now is wasting time. 9 final credits that dont mean anything to me, dealing with fuckin hot weather with no a/c in my place. i hate my job. i cant stand feeling like im just biding my time until i can do something. i hate waiting for something this big. im ready to find a place, and im...
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im drunk. i have class in a few hours. yeah, sure.

i was distracted for a while from the bad place ive been lately. turns out im still there.

does anyone even read this? i feel like im talking to myself. am i tarnishing, making myself unattractive, by posting sad fucked-up posts? does it matter?