injuredcyclist

i fell asleep earlier and woke up when my drunk upstairs neighbor came home. with the hardwood floors in our house, i hear every step she makes when shes not barefoot. i can also hear her bed when shes having sex, which is bothersome.

i also cant seem to get back to sleep, and im not sure what to do with myself. honestly, after today, im not exactly sure how to feel, or how i should feel. all my old college friends were in east lansing this weekend for the uofm game, and it was supposed to be this big family reunion. for a variety of reasons i couldnt make it, and i didnt tell anyone. i havent received a single phone call or text message wondering where i was. i feel like i should be really hurt, but im not. i thought i would be. part of me is just glad to know that this is what happened. maybe they just forgot, or didnt think about that i wasnt there or why. maybe. or maybe they didnt care that i wasnt there. im still not sure which i believe and which id prefer.

whenever life is giving me large amounts of trouble i withdraw into myself and away from the people i know. im doing it again. i was warned that i have until the end of the year to improve at work or im gone, and ive been some sort of ill or injured since basically february. all id really like to do for the next three months is heal up/stop feeling ill, and save my job, and im not sure i know anyone that can help me do either of those things. also looks like i wont be going home for the holidays since i cant afford to even go half on plane tickets with my parents.



night.