injuredcyclist

ive got a test in three hours and i cant get motivated to study for it at all. i know the material in a general sense, and it is a mulitple choice test. still. blah. one my last four tests as an undergrad.

im beginning to discover that one of the very few things that relaxes me anymore is looking for places in san francisco and getting stuff together for the move.

the frustration ebbs and flows.

its 75 degrees outside and 80 in my room. though i hate our basement, im thinking about sleeping down there tonight (my roommates dont believe me, but i swear that fucker is haunted). thinking i should just drink a lot so ill pass out. fuckin supposed to be just as hot tomorrow too.

yesterday was very, very good. took it easy around the house before work, getting stuff boxed up even though im not leaving for more than a month. picked up a book and grabbed something to eat. work wasnt so bad, even though i made a big deal of some stuff i should have seen coming. one of my coworkers is a lazy stupid jackass that...
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i feel like all im doing right now is wasting time. 9 final credits that dont mean anything to me, dealing with fuckin hot weather with no a/c in my place. i hate my job. i cant stand feeling like im just biding my time until i can do something. i hate waiting for something this big. im ready to find a place, and im...
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im drunk. i have class in a few hours. yeah, sure.

i was distracted for a while from the bad place ive been lately. turns out im still there.

does anyone even read this? i feel like im talking to myself. am i tarnishing, making myself unattractive, by posting sad fucked-up posts? does it matter?

all the little things that i dont like or am uncomfortable with in my life bothered me tonight. i dont know why. i usually just ignore what i dont like or not think about it very much. randomly, not tonight. every couple that came into work bothered me because it reminded me that ive been single for 2 (yeah fucking 2) years. all the groups...
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im not so sure i like these 10 hour days on campus. spending 8 hours in college classes a couple days a week isnt really my idea of fun, especially when ive got a bunch of idiot football players in one class and a kiss ass story teller in another. should be a fairly easy 9 credits to 4.0 though.

my loan money will be...
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you know, i love my roommates. great people. but explain why it is that every time i need to shower, usually right before i go to work or go to class, that one of them jumps in two fuckin minutes before me? i dont get it. theres only two of them. our scheduals arent that close together.

be nice if i could get my own...
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was it a good idea to stay up till almost 5am the night before i have to get up at 8:30? probably not. i was walking back from my first class and i felt like a zombie, like i was going to stumble off the sidewalk into oncoming traffic. getting used to this schedual, all the while attempting to quit smoking and get back into...
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you know, at first i liked the rain. its nice sometimes when its cool and wet and windy. but after five days, all days in which i havent felt like doing anything, i wish the damn sun would come back out so i could get motivated again. especially with my last 9 bullshit credits of undergrad work starting tomorrow. gah.

i just thought of something brilliant.

ive done nothing all day cause its my first day off in forever. its shitty cold and windy and rainy outside.i want a cigarette. i got a bottle of glenlevit for graduation from my brothers. im thinking a clove and a scotch with a touch of sour mix and ice sounds excellent.

fuck i feel sophisticated. nothing like enjoying...
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