ininkplease

A Mirror Is A Mirror

Pacing around my room I don't think I am going to come out there to see you any more. I say it knowing how much that statement will hurt you and how sorry I am before I even say it. I let it settle with you before I decide to make another attack on your heart going on about how there was never anything between us to begin with and how you never really cared. Your going out to see him for a few weeks and I am so past the point of being hurt that I do whatever I can to bring you down with me pretending for the moment that I believe every lie I just said to you, only so I can feel justified with what is taking place. The phone calls, ending with me hurting myself in an attempt to try and trick you into telling me that I am wrong. I drop the phone and lean my head against the edge of the bed as I let out a sigh and run my fingers through my hair and letting them rest along the bedside. I sign online and I reach out to some one in hopes they can help me with my situation a common friend among us and I realize that I made a step for the worst. I hear the voice of some one telling me that I was nave and how could I ever think that you even cared about me and that so what if something happens while you are there, I am just some stupid guy in Arizona and I never should have gotten attached to the idea of ever being anything more with you. I leaned back against the chair propping myself up against the wall wondering what is going to happen with us and our friendship and if I am even deserving of your love and trust.