awww geez... i am sad..
I dont know if I have done anything to get in this hole.. but its 4:30 am, and I find my self listening to bright eyes.
Im going through some emotions.. really enjoying my self in some of the memories that I have, but the sad ones seem to be the ones that stick the most.
I feel like im in the middle of a swamp.. stuck in the mud... with some people of the past.. and the scent that you smell is that of the tears that are shed by all..
Getting drunk sometimes helps... but I know its not the cure of anything.. Much of it rests on my shoulders, and how I handle situations. That Is to say how Social I attempt to be at nights.
Yet, when I know I should be out there and "aggressive" I end up being passive. I mean If I see a cute girl, that After I spoken with her, she seems cool, I should go for it.. yet I act like a friggin bystander and let shit pass me by... which ruins my self-esteem. And that when I find my self listening to this beautifully dramatic music, that for some reason makes much more sense in my life that anything my friends can tell me.
.... I guess these are my feelings.. and I shouldnt deny them, because I pretty much own them, by having them.. and I know that everyone has their rainy days.. I just wish My days would be fulfilled by something I wanted, and in some Hedonistic Pleasure.
Which brings me to the saying from Hight Fidelity, Do I listen to pop music because I am miserable, or am I miserable because I listen to pop music?
I mean really.. what is the deal.. On one hand, if pop music makes me feel this way, maybe I shouldnt listen .. righ?
but I feel that If I dont go through these motions, I will never understand myself... Yea . Its ok to be down sometimes.. and even though The ex is many miles away, and doesent want to go out with me again, I should accept it..
Sure I should be sad for bit, go through with the "mourning" process, But I should get stuck in that hole.
I dont know if I have done anything to get in this hole.. but its 4:30 am, and I find my self listening to bright eyes.
Im going through some emotions.. really enjoying my self in some of the memories that I have, but the sad ones seem to be the ones that stick the most.
I feel like im in the middle of a swamp.. stuck in the mud... with some people of the past.. and the scent that you smell is that of the tears that are shed by all..
Getting drunk sometimes helps... but I know its not the cure of anything.. Much of it rests on my shoulders, and how I handle situations. That Is to say how Social I attempt to be at nights.
Yet, when I know I should be out there and "aggressive" I end up being passive. I mean If I see a cute girl, that After I spoken with her, she seems cool, I should go for it.. yet I act like a friggin bystander and let shit pass me by... which ruins my self-esteem. And that when I find my self listening to this beautifully dramatic music, that for some reason makes much more sense in my life that anything my friends can tell me.
.... I guess these are my feelings.. and I shouldnt deny them, because I pretty much own them, by having them.. and I know that everyone has their rainy days.. I just wish My days would be fulfilled by something I wanted, and in some Hedonistic Pleasure.
Which brings me to the saying from Hight Fidelity, Do I listen to pop music because I am miserable, or am I miserable because I listen to pop music?
I mean really.. what is the deal.. On one hand, if pop music makes me feel this way, maybe I shouldnt listen .. righ?
but I feel that If I dont go through these motions, I will never understand myself... Yea . Its ok to be down sometimes.. and even though The ex is many miles away, and doesent want to go out with me again, I should accept it..
Sure I should be sad for bit, go through with the "mourning" process, But I should get stuck in that hole.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
K
get out of that rut, come out!!!
i think " we listen to pop mucis because were miserable," thats what helps us deal, but don't dwell, because that is what brings people down after the mourning process.
you can do it.