Okay... for those of you that may come across this entry... there's no need to read further... I'm just blurting out some shite that's tearing at me, in a whiny fashion that doesn't warrant any purpose other than needing to vent... I've consciously tried to avoid any entries of this type but I'm equally tired of bitching about this to my peeps so I'm gonna do it here...
It has been a year... and the sting is still venemous and hurtful... I LITERALLY can't get her out of my dreams. She left me a year ago, the girl I spent 3 years with, the girl I wanted to spend the rest of my years with, the girl whose happiness was more important than my own, the girl who I took to Paris, the girl who made me feel like I won the lottery every time I woke up next to her, the girl who I longed to make smile in return and was PAINED when I couldn't find her flower after stopping at 13 florists, the girl whose hand I held when she lost her father, the girl that made me feel as though everything could go wrong and it would still be tolerable because she was there, the girl who haunts me time and time again no matter who I date, who I sleep with, or confide in.
I can't, no matter how hard I try, get her out of my head... Not in a cheesy, "I think about you all the time" way... In a literal, "your still in my dreams no matter how much I wish you to be gone..." It's completely beyond my control and I hate it... I try to bury it w/anger and it resurfaces again.
SO, in short, fuck off please.
SORRY FOR THE RAMBLING WINE... this really was more for me to vent to nobody in particular.
It has been a year... and the sting is still venemous and hurtful... I LITERALLY can't get her out of my dreams. She left me a year ago, the girl I spent 3 years with, the girl I wanted to spend the rest of my years with, the girl whose happiness was more important than my own, the girl who I took to Paris, the girl who made me feel like I won the lottery every time I woke up next to her, the girl who I longed to make smile in return and was PAINED when I couldn't find her flower after stopping at 13 florists, the girl whose hand I held when she lost her father, the girl that made me feel as though everything could go wrong and it would still be tolerable because she was there, the girl who haunts me time and time again no matter who I date, who I sleep with, or confide in.
I can't, no matter how hard I try, get her out of my head... Not in a cheesy, "I think about you all the time" way... In a literal, "your still in my dreams no matter how much I wish you to be gone..." It's completely beyond my control and I hate it... I try to bury it w/anger and it resurfaces again.
SO, in short, fuck off please.
SORRY FOR THE RAMBLING WINE... this really was more for me to vent to nobody in particular.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
frankalina:
oh wow, i so understand and empathize. you poor poor baby
india:
aw *hug*