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infinitelykaty

Morgantown, WV

Member Since 2004

Followers 158 Following 79

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Thursday Oct 21, 2004

Oct 21, 2004
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Welcome to my week of death.
I hate this time of year, and in a way, I really love it.
We were talking in philosophy club last night about, what else, death. The professor that heads the meetings is really fucking cool. She might be a new hero of mine. She said that she's made her peace with the idea of not existing. She used to fear it, but she doesn't now.
Everyone has to get to that point eventually. I wouldn't want to go into death afraid.
Today is the fourth anniversary of Matt's accident. It will be an interesting evening. I'm in charge of plans for our gathering this year. We always try to have some kind of get together.
Tonight, it's a cheese fry summit, since we haven't had one in so long. And even thought that tradition started in a really depressing way, I can't remember a time when we had drama at one.
I'm kind of worried about tonight though. Someone I haven't seen in a few weeks, and who knows that I am annoyed with him, will show up. I know he's doing it just to make me feel bad. He didn't know Matt. But I didn't want to exclude anyone from coming...
If he tries to start something, I will fucking bring drama all over his ass! I'm not kidding. I've had it with this bullshit.
I wonder if Matt went into death afraid. I've been wondering that for four years. One of my first musings on that day was, "I wonder what his last thoughts were before he died."

I loved that boy. He got me long before anyone else did, and therefore, he was the only person I was myself around for a long time. We met in ninth grade, so yes, this was loooooooooong before the recent outing of my personality.
He got to see my goofball side back then. It was so awesome to be able to act like that around someone. I'll never forget how we used to pair up on projects in science class, and we would get so silly. We'd laugh...together...
*blink*...*blink* Make it blink, Matt. WHY ISN'T IT BLINKING!?
Oh shit. Dude, I will never forget that.
We rode a camel.
I'll save the rememberances for tonight. I'm going to make a speech, and it's going to suck. Hopefully the dinner will be a success.
Uhm...I should get ready for work. Bye!
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
sita:
Oh, sweet cheeks! You can always stay with me if anything is ever "up in the air". I know how it goes. I'm off to Vegas in a couple weeks and I won't be totally sure if I have somewhere to stay until I get there. confused

I saw pics of you in the fucking delightful photo album! I so regret I didn't get to hang out with you! I love drunken karaoke and you look HOT in that bikini! Hell, you're hot in anything! But, that one pic... I hope y'all were swappin' golf balls and not spit. tongue Or, at least that's what it looked like. biggrin

Travel money I have, too. It's usually the time I can never find. I've been working on that. biggrin Whatcha doing in L.A. in December? I'm gonna be out there on Halloween, then the second week of November.

I'm super sure we'll become best pals, because we have lots to talk about and never get to talk. Oh, and we both love Tori.

~ Toodles!
Oct 21, 2004
slipinsin:
I hope the cheese fry summit helped more than it hurt. I've never had anyone close to me pass away. When this does happen, and of course it will sooner or later, I...... I haven't made peace with the idea of myself, or my friends, not existing, and I don't believe that I ever will... Sorry, that wasn't very uplifting. All apologies...

You were referring to Dr. H when you wrote about that professor, right? I have a test in her class tomorrow... It's going to be tough; I'm a little worried... Wish I could get to sleep so that I'm not a zombie when I have to take it. surreal
Oct 21, 2004

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