"I'm going to tell you guys a secret..."
My amazing weekend. The two previous posts started to get into it. This thing is so big though, they could not possibly have scratched the surface.
I don't know the specific moment when I had the thought, "Enough!", but it had to be sometime before Friday morning. Friday morning was when I put the plan into action.
Except I didn't really have a plan. I couldn't have. When my friend Neil (he's my fucking DAWG now, WORD.) IM'd me and asked if I wanted to walk downtown and meet him for breakfast, I figured that was the perfect starting point.
He was the first to be let in on it. I specifically told him that I was tired of hiding behind this character that got created for me somewhere along the line. It's not me, it's not the person I wanted to be, and it's been a constant source of reason to hate myself when no one is looking.
This morning at 6, I was talking to Neil on AIM again. *I* invited *him* to meet me for breakfast. We met outside the Blue Moose around 7:30. It was fucking freezing. We sat at the counter and chatted until 10. A stranger next to us jumped into the conversation at one point. I was relaxed. I spoke with him. I joked with the woman behind the counter. I figured she will probably be seeing us often now, and that she should know when the two of us are in there it's because we haven't slept all night, so I told her to expect us to be crazy. At 10 it was warm, so we went running around downtown. We stopped to see our old friend Beth at work. I was bouncing around like a little kid, and talking animatedly to her. I have known Beth for seven years and have never really talked to her.
I have never really talked to anyone. Ask the people that knew me before how ridiculously fucking quiet I was. It was sad. 180 in less than a week. I'm fucking doing it.
Back to my weekend though. I had a good feeling about Saturday right from the start. I've actually known Ricky since I was in sixth grade, and Stefy is one of my friends I've known for a much shorter period of time, but I always had the feeling we would get along well. I was excited to be spending the day with them and just being myself.
It was more successful than I could have hoped for.
There was a woman reading tarot cards at the faire. I had had a tarot card reading only once before, and it was an amazing experience. What that man said, was true. And what else he said, came true.
The woman at the faire did a simple three card spread. I've done a little reading myself, so I had some insight into what everything meant before she told me. There are seventy-eight cards in a deck. Twenty-two of them are major arcana cards (and I just realized that is my age...whoa), and when they come up in a reading, they are especially significant.
I shuffled the deck until it felt right. Cut the deck three times. Twenty-two out of seventy-eight. Three cards for me.
I pulled three major arcana. And the meaning couldn't have been clearer. From The Hermit (then), to The World (now).
You've been around here for a while, haven't you? You have a very old soul. You have gifts, and I feel that if you're not on top of the world now...you will be very soon.
I can feel it coming, and I am ready.
Beyond that, the tarot reader and I got into a discussion of hardcore music...hahahaha! ROCK!!! Yes, I do love it.
Lots of things came out during our little party on Saturday. It was the most fun I've had in a long time, and it was also one of the most intense nights I've had, uhm, ever. I actually cried. Some when I was trying to explain to them how hard it's been being closed off for so long, and how I'm going to change, and I'm really glad they're with me for this.
I'm really glad.
Oh shit, I completely forgot. I know my life must be pretty damn good when something like this gets lost in the awesomeness of it all.
Saturday I got a package in the mail containing a personally signed copy of Jo Davidson's The Simply Said Sessions. I would recommend buying this album when it becomes available for purchase. I don't know when that will be. I was lucky enough to receive a copy because I helped pay for her to produce it.
Me = proud.
Just for giggles. This picture from Mike's party makes me laugh so hard.
I don't know how great of an idea it is for Bryan to consume what must be half of his body weight in margarita.
Actually I do know. That's a really great idea.
My amazing weekend. The two previous posts started to get into it. This thing is so big though, they could not possibly have scratched the surface.
I don't know the specific moment when I had the thought, "Enough!", but it had to be sometime before Friday morning. Friday morning was when I put the plan into action.
Except I didn't really have a plan. I couldn't have. When my friend Neil (he's my fucking DAWG now, WORD.) IM'd me and asked if I wanted to walk downtown and meet him for breakfast, I figured that was the perfect starting point.
He was the first to be let in on it. I specifically told him that I was tired of hiding behind this character that got created for me somewhere along the line. It's not me, it's not the person I wanted to be, and it's been a constant source of reason to hate myself when no one is looking.
This morning at 6, I was talking to Neil on AIM again. *I* invited *him* to meet me for breakfast. We met outside the Blue Moose around 7:30. It was fucking freezing. We sat at the counter and chatted until 10. A stranger next to us jumped into the conversation at one point. I was relaxed. I spoke with him. I joked with the woman behind the counter. I figured she will probably be seeing us often now, and that she should know when the two of us are in there it's because we haven't slept all night, so I told her to expect us to be crazy. At 10 it was warm, so we went running around downtown. We stopped to see our old friend Beth at work. I was bouncing around like a little kid, and talking animatedly to her. I have known Beth for seven years and have never really talked to her.
I have never really talked to anyone. Ask the people that knew me before how ridiculously fucking quiet I was. It was sad. 180 in less than a week. I'm fucking doing it.
Back to my weekend though. I had a good feeling about Saturday right from the start. I've actually known Ricky since I was in sixth grade, and Stefy is one of my friends I've known for a much shorter period of time, but I always had the feeling we would get along well. I was excited to be spending the day with them and just being myself.
It was more successful than I could have hoped for.
There was a woman reading tarot cards at the faire. I had had a tarot card reading only once before, and it was an amazing experience. What that man said, was true. And what else he said, came true.
The woman at the faire did a simple three card spread. I've done a little reading myself, so I had some insight into what everything meant before she told me. There are seventy-eight cards in a deck. Twenty-two of them are major arcana cards (and I just realized that is my age...whoa), and when they come up in a reading, they are especially significant.
I shuffled the deck until it felt right. Cut the deck three times. Twenty-two out of seventy-eight. Three cards for me.
I pulled three major arcana. And the meaning couldn't have been clearer. From The Hermit (then), to The World (now).
You've been around here for a while, haven't you? You have a very old soul. You have gifts, and I feel that if you're not on top of the world now...you will be very soon.
I can feel it coming, and I am ready.
Beyond that, the tarot reader and I got into a discussion of hardcore music...hahahaha! ROCK!!! Yes, I do love it.
Lots of things came out during our little party on Saturday. It was the most fun I've had in a long time, and it was also one of the most intense nights I've had, uhm, ever. I actually cried. Some when I was trying to explain to them how hard it's been being closed off for so long, and how I'm going to change, and I'm really glad they're with me for this.
I'm really glad.
Oh shit, I completely forgot. I know my life must be pretty damn good when something like this gets lost in the awesomeness of it all.
Saturday I got a package in the mail containing a personally signed copy of Jo Davidson's The Simply Said Sessions. I would recommend buying this album when it becomes available for purchase. I don't know when that will be. I was lucky enough to receive a copy because I helped pay for her to produce it.
Me = proud.
Just for giggles. This picture from Mike's party makes me laugh so hard.
I don't know how great of an idea it is for Bryan to consume what must be half of his body weight in margarita.
Actually I do know. That's a really great idea.