So I was walking through the shopping centre (only as a short-cut to the bus stop you understand) when a lady demmands I hear her out. I'd already ignored her once so I thought I'd hear what she had to say and then send her packing with my magic tongue. She starts polishing one of my fingernails telling me some crap about it bringing out my natural oils. She even tries to justify this by demonstating that the my nail remains shiny after she's poured nail varnish remover over it. Okay, so there's this new product out, whoopee but why do I want shiny, smooth nails for anyway? It won't make me live longer; it serves no purpose in survival and aesthetically, well, I think my nails are beautiful as they are. The last thing I wish to do is use them as some kind of mirror. I hate mirrors. The bendy ones in fairgrounds are an exception.