industrielle

Oh my...
The noodle in my noggin has gotten itself all tangled
up again. Now begins the slow process of untying the
convoluted mass nestled in my skull. This feeling of
slow motion hyperventilation is oppressive and
irritating. C'mon chemicals! Balance your shit out
already!

You want to play a little game with me? Its called
"Guess the mental illness". Heres a hint, read the
first couple lines of my last journal entry, then
refer back to this one. Got it?
Its fabulous Bipolar Disorder!
It goes something like this: Repeat, with varying frequency and intensity, for the rest of your life.

I had a friend in middle school who thought that my
being on Lithium was the coolest thing on earth.
(Granted, Nirvana was still quite popular at the time,
you know, angst was "in"). I suppose it was pretty cool, considering that it kept me from becoming a real Suicide girl. (No, not the cute naked kind, the dead kind.)

I'm very "high functioning" and have an arsenal of coping mechanisms at my disposal. I also have an excellent professional reputation though I haven't been medicated for years. (though I'm sure I will need to be again at another point) I just have to try a little harder not to be "crazy".

I'm not shopping for condolences or sympathy so please offer none. This has been (and will be) a lifelong thing. Its like this: Industrielle is short, she likes tofu, she is bipolar, (fun fact: so is my mom...), and she needs to take some time to take care of herself to avoid crashing at the end of this "cycle". My theory? We're all nuts... its just that some of us have a diagnoses.

I happen to be rapid cycling right now. This is the not so fun part when you aren't sure which incarnation of yourself you'll be facing in an hour. It makes life interesting.

So now if you'll forgive me, I must excuse myself from SG-ville while I get my brain healthy. I may or may not answer any correspondance (or I may be overzealous... we'll see if its Jeckyl or Hyde thats coming out to play.)

I hope all is well, I miss all of my fabulous SG friends.