Because this account is on SuicideGirls, I've been given inspiration to express my thoughts and feelings because I think they're valuable now.
I'm happy I'm handling my shit so well, somehow. I know why, but I don't understand how I'm able. Especially with what time of the month it is. I am proud, though. I'm keeping a very level head in all of this. I used to be the type to start bawling when I made any mistake or when any little things went wrong. I used to literally cry over spilled milk. My ex and I laughed about it the other day, I dropped peanut sauce on my carpet and after living with me for a year and a half, he sprang into action. He gave me a quick hug, then ran for a towel to clean up my mess before I could cry. I started laughing and beat him to it. He turned around, confused, then smiled. I thanked him for cleaning up my mess, referring to all previous messes as well. He told me too how proud he was that I had lightened up. I have lightened up. About a lot of things, many more to go, but I take myself less seriously. I'm finally able to laugh at myself and laugh at life sometimes when it throws shit in my face. I may be evicted from my apartment before Wednesday night because I paid my rent too early(before my check cleared). I got a notice to vacate, today, the 8th, but I didn't get any notice or call between then and now telling me it was declined. I'm hoping they'll be reasonable and let me stay after I pay what I owe and explain the situation. If not, I'm moving back in with Mom and Dad. A 4 bedroom(1 being half of the garage My Dad's awesome) with 5 people already living in it. I'll honestly be really happy if I have to go back though. my family and I are so close, it's been really tough living 15 minutes from them as sad as that sounds, lol. I'll lose the convenience of being able to live with my sweetie and the 8 minute drive to work, but with them there and my Gran, aunt and little cousin just in from Fl, and living practically around the corner, I'll be quite all right.
I realize now getting shit thrown in my face is really, not the worst thing to happen. I can always just take a shower, am I right? So until I CAN'T just take a shower, things are great.
To whatever tomorrow brings. "Have hope that tomorrow can always be better."
I'm happy I'm handling my shit so well, somehow. I know why, but I don't understand how I'm able. Especially with what time of the month it is. I am proud, though. I'm keeping a very level head in all of this. I used to be the type to start bawling when I made any mistake or when any little things went wrong. I used to literally cry over spilled milk. My ex and I laughed about it the other day, I dropped peanut sauce on my carpet and after living with me for a year and a half, he sprang into action. He gave me a quick hug, then ran for a towel to clean up my mess before I could cry. I started laughing and beat him to it. He turned around, confused, then smiled. I thanked him for cleaning up my mess, referring to all previous messes as well. He told me too how proud he was that I had lightened up. I have lightened up. About a lot of things, many more to go, but I take myself less seriously. I'm finally able to laugh at myself and laugh at life sometimes when it throws shit in my face. I may be evicted from my apartment before Wednesday night because I paid my rent too early(before my check cleared). I got a notice to vacate, today, the 8th, but I didn't get any notice or call between then and now telling me it was declined. I'm hoping they'll be reasonable and let me stay after I pay what I owe and explain the situation. If not, I'm moving back in with Mom and Dad. A 4 bedroom(1 being half of the garage My Dad's awesome) with 5 people already living in it. I'll honestly be really happy if I have to go back though. my family and I are so close, it's been really tough living 15 minutes from them as sad as that sounds, lol. I'll lose the convenience of being able to live with my sweetie and the 8 minute drive to work, but with them there and my Gran, aunt and little cousin just in from Fl, and living practically around the corner, I'll be quite all right.
I realize now getting shit thrown in my face is really, not the worst thing to happen. I can always just take a shower, am I right? So until I CAN'T just take a shower, things are great.
To whatever tomorrow brings. "Have hope that tomorrow can always be better."