indieboi

Another Sleepless Night...
I never thought it could possibly be this hard. After all, I have you just as much now as I ever did, but it's somehow different...a distance that's impossible to pin-point, but still is clearly there. It can't be measured, but the depth and width are obvious. So, the question is asked, 'is it meant to be?' Are we intwined in fate, destined to be, or is that just my selfish, wishful thinking? My hope lying to myself. Keeping me guessing and second guessing. 'Is it my false hope that I've created to ease the process, or am I just thinking that? Is there really a chance this could happen?' And thus the body and mind are in turmoil. The mind is restless, and the body craves sleep. Closing in on 100 sleepless hours. Tonight is not going to end this streak. Especially since my mind is racing more than ever. Why do emotions consume our every thought? It's not fair. The mind is the one distraction you can't run away from, and you certainly can't tune it out. Close your eyes; there it is again, haunting you, almost in an attitude of mockery. 'You honestly think you can forget all this? You couldn't forget, you don't want to forget, and you know it!' It seems I am indeed my own worst enemy...