incorrigible

you know when you really hate doing something, but you do it anyway, because you feel responsible, or it's better than doing nothing, or as a favor to friend? And then something happens, and you don't hafta do that thing you didn't want to do in the first place? and then you get really DISAPPOINTED?

so i'm in this one act play that my good friend was directing for a ten-minute play festival, but the writing kinda lacked...well... talent. But anything for a friend, right? Well tech week hits and my scene partner isn't off book until the DAY of opening night. I am soooo nervous and i want to kill the ass. but the show goes off, and we get a few laughs.

the show is running for four weeks. This was week 2. This time my scene partner is sick. He does the Sat show and FUCKING CALLS IN SICK for the Sunday show. They cut our scene from the show. I am sooo disappointed that i don't get to perform that i throw a tantrum all over my director and get a little cry-y. All this for a show i hate doing in the first place.

being in front of audience is like a drug. i wanna do it, even if it sucks.