I keep reading books about nonexistent people whose lives I lust after. This depresses me. Overdosing on gloomy introspection and sour-grapes-ism makes jack a dull girl. I need to retreat to my totemistic cheer-up thingys. Blood, sex, death, and art set everything right.
I found one of my grandmother's old cookbooks, featuring a number of deeply disturbing Jell-O recipes. The top three offenders:
Sour Cream Jell-O D'Akron ("In the South it's called 'congealed salad.'")
Barbecue Cubes("Ingredients: lemon Jell-O, tomato sauce, vinegar, salt, pepper, and horseradish.")
Undescended Twinkies ("Rememberyou don't want them buried. Just semidescended in the lush, peach-colored ooze.")
Say it with me.
UNDESCENDED TWINKIES. PEACH-COLORED OOZE.
If I'd grown up in '50s suburbia, I think I would have clawed my eyes out, crammed my skull with Twinkies, and drowned myself in a pool of horseradish Jell-O.
In other news: I am a bad person
That reminds me of a Discovery Channel bit I saw about bonobos, which are the Coolest Monkeys Ever. Apes, I mean. They're apes. Anyway, they are cool because while the other monk...apes are always fighting, the bonobos just screw, screw, screw all the time:
Bonobos engage in carefree erotic exchanges of unusual frequency and form. Face-to-face mating was once considered a distinctly human activity, but male and female bonobos often use the 'missionary position.' Bonobos also engage in polymorphous pleasures, including erotic rubbing between females, penis fencing among males, cross-generational sex play, group eroticism, and French kissing. "The bonobo is a sexual Olympian," writes Natalie Angier in Woman, An Intimate Geography. "Males, females, old, callow, no matterit's sex, grope, hump, genito-genital rub-a-dub-dubbing, all the day long."
Homosexuality and promiscuity are every bit as natural as heterosexuality and monogamy. So argues Will Wilkinson in his response to this bullshit article...outdated. yes. I would also point out that countless animals engage in homosexual and nonreproductive sex.
so shut up...er uh. *fizzle*
I found one of my grandmother's old cookbooks, featuring a number of deeply disturbing Jell-O recipes. The top three offenders:
Sour Cream Jell-O D'Akron ("In the South it's called 'congealed salad.'")
Barbecue Cubes("Ingredients: lemon Jell-O, tomato sauce, vinegar, salt, pepper, and horseradish.")
Undescended Twinkies ("Rememberyou don't want them buried. Just semidescended in the lush, peach-colored ooze.")
Say it with me.
UNDESCENDED TWINKIES. PEACH-COLORED OOZE.
If I'd grown up in '50s suburbia, I think I would have clawed my eyes out, crammed my skull with Twinkies, and drowned myself in a pool of horseradish Jell-O.
In other news: I am a bad person
That reminds me of a Discovery Channel bit I saw about bonobos, which are the Coolest Monkeys Ever. Apes, I mean. They're apes. Anyway, they are cool because while the other monk...apes are always fighting, the bonobos just screw, screw, screw all the time:
Bonobos engage in carefree erotic exchanges of unusual frequency and form. Face-to-face mating was once considered a distinctly human activity, but male and female bonobos often use the 'missionary position.' Bonobos also engage in polymorphous pleasures, including erotic rubbing between females, penis fencing among males, cross-generational sex play, group eroticism, and French kissing. "The bonobo is a sexual Olympian," writes Natalie Angier in Woman, An Intimate Geography. "Males, females, old, callow, no matterit's sex, grope, hump, genito-genital rub-a-dub-dubbing, all the day long."
Homosexuality and promiscuity are every bit as natural as heterosexuality and monogamy. So argues Will Wilkinson in his response to this bullshit article...outdated. yes. I would also point out that countless animals engage in homosexual and nonreproductive sex.
so shut up...er uh. *fizzle*
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
ceraphim2:
mmm twinkies. have you ever read the ingredients on them. you'd think it'd say, bread and whipped cream, but no. it cannot be so simple. additionally, it was wierd after seeing the octopus oriental art you had and never having seen it before, i saw it on a flyer for a punk show, wierd. 
iggy:
go to. qxts. tomorrow night. do you need me to pick you up?