incorect

My worth as a human is calculated in calories. Get off the scale and fucking eat a cookie. Better yet, eat a fucking cake. Wanna lose some weight? blow your fucking head off, you'll look fabulous in a swimsuit. How did we ever date?

This week teetering between frustration and a strange blessed ignorance. I am frustrated with my loved ones, each one i would lie down for- some for death, some for pleasure, some only for devouring... i really do think i act like glue to selfish narcissistic types... i only want to adore them, as if it were such an innocent thing to do... except that adoration transcends our cheap morality. I am hardly a friend to my friends at all, rather a bath mat. i want to treat my friends like the beautiful creatures i believe they are, but i am realizing it is a foreign language... and perhaps i never spoke it properly. [maybe i need new friends..no takers..]blessed ignorance because i prefer a silly fantasy to a silly reality. i may be approaching a complete sacrifice of conventionality to accomplish the things i need from this oddly normal life...

And suddenly I realize that there isn't very much keeping me here.