My worth as a human is calculated in calories. Get off the scale and fucking eat a cookie. Better yet, eat a fucking cake. Wanna lose some weight? blow your fucking head off, you'll look fabulous in a swimsuit. How did we ever date?
This week teetering between frustration and a strange blessed ignorance. I am frustrated with my loved ones, each one i would lie down for- some for death, some for pleasure, some only for devouring... i really do think i act like glue to selfish narcissistic types... i only want to adore them, as if it were such an innocent thing to do... except that adoration transcends our cheap morality. I am hardly a friend to my friends at all, rather a bath mat. i want to treat my friends like the beautiful creatures i believe they are, but i am realizing it is a foreign language... and perhaps i never spoke it properly. [maybe i need new friends..no takers..]blessed ignorance because i prefer a silly fantasy to a silly reality. i may be approaching a complete sacrifice of conventionality to accomplish the things i need from this oddly normal life...
And suddenly I realize that there isn't very much keeping me here.
This week teetering between frustration and a strange blessed ignorance. I am frustrated with my loved ones, each one i would lie down for- some for death, some for pleasure, some only for devouring... i really do think i act like glue to selfish narcissistic types... i only want to adore them, as if it were such an innocent thing to do... except that adoration transcends our cheap morality. I am hardly a friend to my friends at all, rather a bath mat. i want to treat my friends like the beautiful creatures i believe they are, but i am realizing it is a foreign language... and perhaps i never spoke it properly. [maybe i need new friends..no takers..]blessed ignorance because i prefer a silly fantasy to a silly reality. i may be approaching a complete sacrifice of conventionality to accomplish the things i need from this oddly normal life...
And suddenly I realize that there isn't very much keeping me here.
and as for the girls i involve myself with...well, apparently im only attracted to (and only attract) emotionally broken women. because this seems to be the main characterstic that most of them share. if it wasnt for the fact i dont like penises, i think id have turned gay by now.