incompletia

void.


4:40 am
and i'm tearing up
over who someone
who's forgotten my exsistence.
funny how the universe deals its cards.

i'm sat here
worrying for the wealfare
of a drinking, singing beauty
who kisses me on the head
only when i'm in immediate view
to remind him of my meager being.

if i went on vacation for a million years,
not even his fossil would hint having missed me,
the evolution having proudly,
triumphantlygone on without me...

our sun still setting in the east.

4:45 a.m.
and he's perhaps tracing her lips with his eyes,
smiling as she utters syllables suspected once
for only to be used by those of 2 years...
but somehow,
it's terribly beautiful and endearing now.

flat porcelain stomaches have a way about them.
they obliterate the need for grammar
and the duties of respecting your promises and bindings.

and somehow vacant looks
are now mysteriously enticing...
the way she smiles aimlessly,
chattering of the heads she's turned for the day
make you want her all the more.

4:50 am
and she's kissing the boy i love.

she's kissing him
while a small army waits their turn
to taste her strawberry and chai delights...
aching to be stroked by her cableknit
and encased in her polyester.

she's running her fingers
through hair that i adore
no matter how it's strewn...

that i'll adore
when there's only a strand or so left.

4:53 a.m.
and i'm not finding the fairness
in knowing that she gets to smell that scent every day
when i'll only get it now in stolen passing.

and all she has to do is skip idly,
and she's rewarded
with brownies,kittens,flowers,
telephone wires and embraces...

so long as she holds still a second long enough to recieve them.

yet i yearned
and i cared
and i agonize, still...
hoping that he always makes it home safely...
praying that tonight's green puff of smoke
won't be his last.

4:59 a.m.
missing something that never exsisted.

5:00 a.m.
without something
i should be happy to be rid of.

but i ache.