incompetent

i am having such a hard time right now. the one person i care about most in my life, just said she hates me. at no point in my life have i ever wanted to just be dead like i do right now.

the problem is, i have nowhere to go for any kind of emotional support throughout this situation... so i try and find it at the source of what's hurting me so much in the first place. which clearly isn't the place to go. i don't want to ever feel like this again, but i want everyone else to feel it with me. i have no where to go. no one to hold, nothing to comfort me, and no positive effect on my surroundings.

this would normally one of those posts documenting my current emotional turmoil, complete with exaggerations and misconceptions. but i think i'm seeing shit pretty clearly: i am no one, i am nothing. i make no one happy. i have nothing to offer the world, besides a mediocre-at-best talent and too much hair. and the worst of it is, i try really hard. i want so bad to be a human worth being around. and i'm not even close.... the people i'm closest to are so far away that i can barely see them.


edit: i must've been hearing things when i said she hated me, because i guess she didn't say that. my mistake. i'm not even good at self-pity.