New job
Old Insomnia
Today: Mushrooms or alcohol and a whole lot of nothing otherwise.
Old Insomnia
Today: Mushrooms or alcohol and a whole lot of nothing otherwise.
Someone very dear to me told me they don't know who I am, they don't understand me.
My whole life that's pretty much all I wanted, to be loved and understood, but maybe I was wrong. Maybe being understood isn't that important after all. Person after person trying to figure what I'm about, or where I'm coming from, or my 'motivations', that all used to...
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My whole life that's pretty much all I wanted, to be loved and understood, but maybe I was wrong. Maybe being understood isn't that important after all. Person after person trying to figure what I'm about, or where I'm coming from, or my 'motivations', that all used to...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
dingoes8:
I'm kinda feeling the same way. Only instead of someone actually telling me they don't understand me, I just realized they thought I was someone completely different than who I am. And I don't have the energy to try to change that.
I've never actually been to Oakland Gyros. I guess I should check it out, since it's right there. Hope they have something vegetarian.
I've never actually been to Oakland Gyros. I guess I should check it out, since it's right there. Hope they have something vegetarian.
beatnik:
You've got an awesome sense of your universe, but at the same time a bit diluted. While you're able to spot your flaws and make amends with them, I'm not sure you fully understand yet how you're "flaws" indicate your interations with the people you associate with. There's a difference between painting yourself into a corner, and allowing others to paint you into a corner. You need to be cautious not to allow your convictions to be molded by your perceptions of the perceptions of others. I think you're comfort and peace will come from allowing yourself to find solice in discomfort - being "ok" with the disappointments you might have in others, or indeed, in yourself.
Not sure if that all made sense. I tried.
I heard a quote. Goes like this: "If this is what the world has made me, then let it live with the consequences.
All the best,
Not sure if that all made sense. I tried.
I heard a quote. Goes like this: "If this is what the world has made me, then let it live with the consequences.
All the best,
"Locked up inside you, like the calm beneath castles is a cavern of treasures that no one has been to"
Well that was one weekend...
I went up north outside the dells and did all the usualy up north stuff and it was fucking great, but what was even better was what happened to me the first night i was up there:
I was having...
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Well that was one weekend...
I went up north outside the dells and did all the usualy up north stuff and it was fucking great, but what was even better was what happened to me the first night i was up there:
I was having...
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Last night while I was dreaming, I fell in love with an 18 year old prostitute named April. I woke up seriously sad she was gone.
I've heard of never ever falling in love with a prostitute, but i'm not sure what the saying is behind dreamwhores.
It kinda reminds me of all the situations hallmark doesn't make cards for like: "Sorry your lover neglected...
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I've heard of never ever falling in love with a prostitute, but i'm not sure what the saying is behind dreamwhores.
It kinda reminds me of all the situations hallmark doesn't make cards for like: "Sorry your lover neglected...
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After last night...seeeeeriously thinking about never drinking again. I know I will, but at this point, I really don't want to.
And it's probably about that time to get a 'real' job again, as if life itself wasn't draining enough.
Also, what the fuck's up with celibacy? It just seems really really frustrating to me.
And it's probably about that time to get a 'real' job again, as if life itself wasn't draining enough.
Also, what the fuck's up with celibacy? It just seems really really frustrating to me.
Yesterday was wonderful. I awoke from a twisted dream about being back in high school while it's being gassed by terrorists to a call from an old friend of mine. I guess he had woken up to a bad scene at his place and wanted to get out for a bit to go do some mushrooms. So we did.
It was really great though, we...
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It was really great though, we...
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wardy:
sometimes drugs open your mind to things you don't normally see around you.
we overlook what is our normal landscape.
we overlook what is our normal landscape.
I don't know where to begin, and even if I did, I doubt I could.
need2xcap2:
i know exactly how you feel...in a similar boat at the moment....
boredom's not a burden anyone should bear 
Tonight was kinda disturbing, I spent the last hour and a half or so trying to comfort someone else's four month old child who was being ignored from a room a few yards across the hall after I woke up on the floor in the family room of their house. I got my shirt peed on through his pajama's in the process, and nothing I...
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dingoes8:
That sucks. I freak out around kids. I have no clue what to do.
Hmm, update eh?
Well I went to see Static X last night and it was awesome and crazy and all the good things a concert like that could be. I probably should have ate more than a bowl of rice yesterday though, I just didn't think I'd be doing anything like moshing or drinking excessively. So that led to me having to cut out of...
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Well I went to see Static X last night and it was awesome and crazy and all the good things a concert like that could be. I probably should have ate more than a bowl of rice yesterday though, I just didn't think I'd be doing anything like moshing or drinking excessively. So that led to me having to cut out of...
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dingoes8:
That's kinda hilarious.
beatnik:
this is excellent 
The world seems to be having one great big collective blah today, and it bugs me, quite irrationally, that there's nothing I can do to stop it. Not to mention there's a billion and one things running through my head on an otherwise empty day to complicate matters, but I'm starting to realize that's how I like it.
On a more tangible note, I'm selling...
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On a more tangible note, I'm selling...
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beatnik:
Isn't it funny how the things that bug us most are sometimes the things we can't live without?
I'm glad to hear you'll be selling that cottage. That sounds like a smart move - like turning the page to a new chapter. Do whatever you can to get out there... there's so much world just waiting to mean something to you... to completely change you or the way you see things.
I can't wait to drop everything and get lost in the world for a few months. Get by on a few bucks and the generosity of locals... who knows... its always been a dream of mine...
Thanks for the good tidings! You have a good one too.
I'm glad to hear you'll be selling that cottage. That sounds like a smart move - like turning the page to a new chapter. Do whatever you can to get out there... there's so much world just waiting to mean something to you... to completely change you or the way you see things.
I can't wait to drop everything and get lost in the world for a few months. Get by on a few bucks and the generosity of locals... who knows... its always been a dream of mine...
Thanks for the good tidings! You have a good one too.
need2xcap2:
i suppose that has something to do with it, yes....
im felling a little better and i guess you could call it perky at the moment...strange how quick it changes...
im felling a little better and i guess you could call it perky at the moment...strange how quick it changes...
enjoy your evening and thanks for all the info i really do appreciate it!
1. I'm blessed. The Universe has provided well for over two years with no 'nine to five'.
2. Sleep is good. Sometimes long, sometimes short. Insomnia and/or really long sleep is pretty common in 'early' enlightenment. Don't really know where I fall in that one.
3. I'd love to 'shroom. Any day. Willingly gave up the 'liquid stupid' though...
Ah, anyway...hope you are well and good.
rain.