imspectr

I can't sleep

I think it's due to excitement.

I will (most likely) shooting my first set with the brilliant AlissaBrunelli in a matter of a few hours (like 6...lol) and I am SUPER excited/nervous so...no sleep for me tonight.

Lack of sleep for me = fun random blog for your enjoyment


Part 1: Texts From Last Night


(+44): I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.

(604): I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction

(845): Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk **that one was for you Stevie_D***

(443): 8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..

(917): his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much

(716): holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
(1-716): How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'

(978): im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me
(1-978): this is your brother

(804): girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.

(315): Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love

(912): just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart

(404): I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?

(646): Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.

(+26): Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY

(805): I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense

(801): I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high

(214): don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"

(916): I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.

(858): I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.

(405): There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.

(225): things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.

(519): oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
(1-519): like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.

(208): We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.

(513): I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
(1-513): GO. BACK. NOW.

(702): we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
(1-702): do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?

(415): So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.

(361): I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
(1-361): Def the best call fo sho
(361): That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.


Part 2: FAILBLOG

































Part 3: Bad Tattoos