Even though I have nobody to go out and do things with, I still try to go out every now and again. For what ever reason this implies that I am made of money which is far from the truth. I make well below the average wage in Australia and more so for the average in Sydney.

I do however don't make needless purchases just to keep up with the joneses nor do i buy high end fashion when the cheap stuff will do or the named brand of food items. So I save my money because its not like anyone wants me to come out with them for a boozy night or a stag night or anything like that. Then again what friends?

I'm not living the high life then just because I have saved up over a long period of time and can spend a lot of money to go on a three month holiday to Europe although only barely since i had a little over 14k and it cost me 13.5k but now all my travel an accommodation is covered (except the travel agent couldn't book my paris to london train ticket but I can do that later - also why the hell is it ok for train travel in Europe to be SOOOOOOO expensive; makes me wish I had my full license.

I am pretty hopeful for this trip but who knows. Unlike most Australians, my accent isn't very obvious although Canadians can pick out the canadian accent that is there (My mother being Canadian fortunately gave it to me since I actually don't like the proper aussie accent all that much - so grating). I am spending a lot of time in Hostels since that was all I could really afford for the most part so maybe I'll make a few friends since I am mostly in Europe during the Summer peak.

Anyway I usually have to make my own fun like commentary on video games to myself or just dancing harder and longer then anyone else. I can quite literally dance the night away...... not that that attracts the lady folk for the most part; Trust me there is not enough booze to make me handsome.

Obviously I don't have much confidence in my own looks or faith in humanity. It gets harder each day to not just do something extreme and perhaps if I wasn't so chaotic perhaps maybe I wouldn't be here. Sometimes I stare at my own wrists and imagine them bleeding out. The only reason I don't is that I don't want to give anyone the satisfaction of me committing suicide.

As for now, my so called friends are having fun elsewhere without me because unlike them, I am not a stoner, mostly because I don't get anything from it and feel I need something strong like my good friend alcohol. I'm drinking a bottle of saki now :D. You folks have fun and just do whatever it is you normally do.