I'm not going to post anymore. I'm really not into the whole porn thing. I thought it would be something I could share w/my BF.
He hasn't been interested in sex with me for quite a while. we had a brief, fleating renaissance there, but it didn't last.
He never explained he likes something other than vanilla sex. I snooped. I wanted to be included. I wanted him to feel fulfilled and ok with his desires, ok w/me, blah blah blah.
I didn't realize this favorite sexual position was behind my back.
didn't matter what I tried. he always turned back to the online stuff. this makes me tremendously jealous. my needs are not met and he's going somewhere else for his....
and when I finally purchased and got comfortable using a vibrator I get flack from him. I don't understand that. why didn't that free you up to do what really gets you off??????????
having a relationship w/a person is really complicated and difficult. you have to pay attn to each other. you have to want the one you are with. otherwise, what's the point??
yes, online sex/ fetishism is easier. online dommes never have a period, their faces never break out, they never have a bad day, they never have money troubles- mainly because you're paying for their time!
there are NO other issues at play because there's no relationship.
you prefer this to me. it's not a new thing, it has been in your life longer than I have. shortly after you invited me to the SG thing, you stopped participating. you took dwn your profile. you didn't want to share with me.
yes, I know you fucking hate me. I'm a bitch. I'm not saying I didn't fly off the handle about all of this stuff but my god what a way to treat the one you "love". I offered to move out. you wanted me to stay. I was ready to end the relationship- you were not. now all of the fallout is my fault. I don't buy it.
you kicked me when I was down. I felt awful about myself and this compounds it.
He hasn't been interested in sex with me for quite a while. we had a brief, fleating renaissance there, but it didn't last.
He never explained he likes something other than vanilla sex. I snooped. I wanted to be included. I wanted him to feel fulfilled and ok with his desires, ok w/me, blah blah blah.
I didn't realize this favorite sexual position was behind my back.
didn't matter what I tried. he always turned back to the online stuff. this makes me tremendously jealous. my needs are not met and he's going somewhere else for his....
and when I finally purchased and got comfortable using a vibrator I get flack from him. I don't understand that. why didn't that free you up to do what really gets you off??????????
having a relationship w/a person is really complicated and difficult. you have to pay attn to each other. you have to want the one you are with. otherwise, what's the point??
yes, online sex/ fetishism is easier. online dommes never have a period, their faces never break out, they never have a bad day, they never have money troubles- mainly because you're paying for their time!
there are NO other issues at play because there's no relationship.
you prefer this to me. it's not a new thing, it has been in your life longer than I have. shortly after you invited me to the SG thing, you stopped participating. you took dwn your profile. you didn't want to share with me.
yes, I know you fucking hate me. I'm a bitch. I'm not saying I didn't fly off the handle about all of this stuff but my god what a way to treat the one you "love". I offered to move out. you wanted me to stay. I was ready to end the relationship- you were not. now all of the fallout is my fault. I don't buy it.
you kicked me when I was down. I felt awful about myself and this compounds it.
It took several times for me to learn that.
Multiple times with multiple girls
people cheat because they are unhappy, but that doesn't mean in any way that it's your fault
they go out searching for what they think they want, but find eventually they've no idea what it is they need
and after a while they come back begging forgiveness or crying or both
and more than once i've taken them back
but it's never the same, it' snever like it was
something's bruised and won't heal, a slight limp that cannot be repaired.
and finally after years of hope, that caused me more heartache, and after giving 15 years of my life to women who i hoped would stay... I know that i can never take another cheater back.
I know too how foolish i was to attempt it.
but don't give up on love
never give up on love
you will find someone who will make you happy
in the meantime make yourself happy
believe