imoon

So i had a nice talk with someone tonight, has some self realizations due to this conversation. It seems that this person believes that I'm a guarded person..and that it hinders my ability to move on with, or get a relationship in the first place.
Talking online it allows me to open up and be myself because i don't have those people in front of me, i cant see their reactions or feel the pressure of a physical talk, but even then im guarded, only opening myself up so much..
Thus this guarded aspect ive put upon myself reflects badly in my body language for things, everyday to the intimate.

Which makes sense...self consciousness, shyness and a general lack of an outgoing social aspect for life could, and probably does leave me 'guarded' in a sense. Showing a negative aspect to my body language, etc..
Seems even sitting on a city bus i put off a negative outlook...no one ever sits near me haha..and i know for a fact that i dont smell bad lol, so maybe its the body language bit. Hmm

So anyways...ignore this if you want haha...i ramble..and it may not all make sense in an actual order type way...things come out jumbled when i type my mind.