immortalloki

what am i doing wrong??? ya know, life's been great to me lately, i have all the necessities, food, place to live... i've got a good job, promotion n a raise, my girl is amazing and i love her with every speck of my soul... but somehow all this fucking unhappiness keeps wanting to creep in on me... we got inna argument last week over nothing, and the next thing i know she's packing her stuff!!! she cooled down over the next couple of days, and never did leave and she swears that she loves me more than anything on earth... now i know that compared to her i'm a big piece o shit, and that i don't deserve even someone half as good, but i,m still not that bad of a person and if it's so easy for her to pack up and leave over some small shit, what's she gonna do when it's about something important, and how much can you actually love someone if you can just leave em when you get pissed off? i feel like i haven't done enough to show her what she means to me even though i'm constantly doing something for her... does that make any fucking sense? and she's almost the same way, constantly asking me if i'm okay, calling me, telling me how much she loves me... is it possible to love someone too much??? LOL! i guess the biggest problem right now for me is trying to be less self-fucking-centered... she wants me to be a part of her life and do things with her... my time is very precious to me though and i like to spend it doing things that don't waste it ( meaning i hate plan changes, surprises, and just plain sitting around somewhere when i'd rather be doing something else! LOL! ) but because i care about her i try to accommodate her wishes... problem is, i'm terrible at hiding my distaste for whatever the fuck she's dragged me along for... HOW DO I HIDE IT???? LOL! ya know, we talk about everything... and it's really a simple thing, but it drives me feckin nuts... don't want to fuck up my relationship, but how do you change yerself???