imaxtoy

Polyamorous

I sleep with a Hello Kitty teddy bear. She wears purple and pink PJs. It's my friend's teddy bear. The guys think it's weird to see the teddy bear on my bed and even weirder that I sleep holding it to my chest almost every night. They're tempted to question my masculinity or think I'm whipped. My only reaction is to smile at the shallow reaction. The teddy bear is a symbol of something much deeper shared between my friend and I. My friendships are few, but they are deep as the ocean. The teddy bear is a symbol of love and support that girds the core of my spirit. If only the guys knew years ago I suffered from nightmares from my childhood, they'd understand why I can sleep so peacefully in a warzone. My friends tell me I'm ok. The love tells me I'm ok. I'm ok. I'm... ok.

The friends I make now are chosen carefully. I pick only those of pure spirit and love. Most are women. Yes, I have a weakness for women; I'm a flirt. I realized that it's a trait I've inherited from my philanderous father. The difference between my father and I, the difference between a cheater and I, is that I've lost the insecurity and fear. I know who I am and I know I am capable of loving many. I know I am able to see the humanity and beauty in many people that others would be quick to judge. I can show you how much I appreciate you and make you feel loved. I am poly.

I'll always be judged as a selfish cheater by those who cannot look beyond the surface. That's fine; you can keep your opinion to yourself. How weak are you to need someone else to make you feel like the special one, the only one? How weak are you that you can't understand yourself and you need another man to validate you? How weak are you to be so insecure, jealous, and fearful?

Can't you see this man sees something more in you and he wants to bring it out? Can't you see that the strength, love, and beauty is already inside of you? Why can't you learn to be independent, strong? Can you not love yourself enough? How selfish to want to keep me from others that need that love.

The love is different for every person, because every person has different needs. On the surface you might see a sexual relationship or a love affair. Do you look deeper and recognize that I have spoken the truth at all times? Did you know that they know about each other? Do you know the difference between insecure cheating and bold truth & acceptance? Love requires a greater personal strength in you. Love requires truth. If I give you the truth and see that I have the strength to accept your many loves, would you do the same for me? Even more, would you recognize my strength if I made you my only one, but I gave you the freedom to have many loves? Would you fear my power then?

Not many can recognize or handle the power of love unhindered. See me for who I am and what I represent and you will have glimpsed the ideals of love. Then choose to fear the power or embrace it as your own as well.