I believe that man's only purpose on Earth is the same as any other species' purpose... to propagate and to ensure the continuation of its own species existence. So what happens when you don't want to propagate because you believe that there is already too many people in the world??? What if you don't think it's appropriate to bring people into a world that you don't even have much desire to be in yourself? What if you don't think that you would be a good role model, would be a horrible father, and would raise terrible kids???

So that means that I have to find an artificial reason to living. What's left??? Many people cling to religion. I'm not an idiot and I can accept reality. I'm not one for believing in Santa Claus although everything points against his existence and he cannot be proved. Religion is just a crutch used by society to fill the void of not having a point of existence.

What else is left??? Blur my reality & mind with drugs, alcohol and sex??? Don't want to do that either. I'm still straight edge as always. I want to be in control of my reality. I would rather die than have to escape reality on a normal basis. When the time comes that I feel that I have to leave reality in order to accept reality, to have a good time or whatever, that's the point where my life has become worth nothing.

I don't know what I'm living for.