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imajicat

small town, New Jersey

Member Since 2006

Followers 22 Following 29

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Saturday Jun 03, 2006

Jun 3, 2006
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oh, how i do love my safety pins.

safety pin earrings.
safety pin barrettes.
safety pin brands
safety pin art.
facination

i got all excited and spent money on a cautery pen and it just sits there in it's pretty sterile wrapping and winks at me. i keep drawing patterns down the outside of my right leg with sharpie marker and then not liking them and so not using the pen to burn them in. then i go look for a big safety pin and burn myself in usless patterns with that instead.

i tend to go through these phases. months of burns and burns and razors, exacto knives, safety pins, candles, matches, random piercings and urges and yearnings to sever skin cells from each other. then months of nothing, not interested, don't feel like it.. whatever, i don't think i'm in to that anymore. until i am again.

sometimes all these scars are hateful and ugly to me. the ones i've done myself, even the ones i've had done professionally. it's rare, most of the time they are beautiful. scars from beginning of cutting and burning in middle school to present day in varied shades of fade. some cream colored and soft.. some red and bold. it's like a road map through my life.

today i've had really stupid thoughts, like.. it would be a great time to get really crazy cutting because i wouldn't have to worry about infection since i'm already on keflex for the ink reaction in my tattoo. yeah... that's rational.

ok... i'm done. i have to try to go to bed because i have to go to work in the morning. three days of 16 hour shifts leaves me satisfied but completely worn out. skull
nokturn:
Aw. [HUGS]
Well, the exhaustion from work should at least tire you out too much to cut.
I always find it works in vicious little cycles anyway.
(And I also love safety pins, but razors I like more, even tho I haven't cut at all for a few years)
I once designed this fantastic pair of bondage trousers covered with safety pins and hanging straps lined with razor blades, but I kinda thought I might get arrested if I wore them in the street!
Its hard to avoid the crazy cutting vibe when it seems there's no danger, but the main danger is always to your head not your flesh, sweetie- trapping you in those vicious little cycles.
I've done a tattoo design which will cover my last remaining scars. I've wanted to keep them so long but its time to move on. Last time I got a tattoo I was saying to the guy OK, you've got to place it round there to avoid that scar... and that one... but I've decided its silly doing that now but still don't wanna lose them
skull
Jun 12, 2006
nokturn:
Yeah I think they're beautiful too but I also think its time for me to move on from them.
They're all very faint and white now anyway and only really come out in the sun for some reason, but they're in annoying places for my tattoo plans, so I spose its good the past should go! skull
Jun 12, 2006

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