I'm an idiot. I see this gorgeous woman at a country bar (it's open late and the band is actually good) called Carol's here in Chicago. She's wearing a blue doo rag, camo pants, a wife beater, and she has wicked tattooed arms...sleeves in progress. I buy her a beer (mind you I'm shrooming my brains out) and run away to talk to my brother. She's coming out of the bathroom and I stop her. I remove one of my homemade bracelets, offer it to her, and actually put it on her. She says..is this a pick up line? I say..uhhh..yeah. She hands it back and says...I'll be over there. I turn red, sit down, and ponder my honesty, my tact, morality...yadda yadda. Sheesh, I got no mojo. 
(No kiding, what is it?)