old memories forcefully intruding my brain; it's like i want to rob myself of any serenity i might've acquired in the past 2 years...
it's a fucked up situation when i surrender my defenses to my own offensive mechanisms.
i used to think that my rate of progression was exceptional; that i was constantly evolving in such a dramatic way. but, honestly, in retrospective, i'm still on the same old shit... just with a perspective that's been tweaked in 50 million different ways.
unfortunately, not one of these 50 million ways has satiated or diminished my inclination to self-destruct..
i cannot seem to be able to look back without being lured into my old death traps... for some reason, i refuse to let my beautiful, long-lost misery lay dormant.
apparently, i'm a bit of a masochist.
when will i ever be able to save me from myself?
ever?
how the hell will i ever be able to help anyone else? who the fuck am i fooling??
certainly, not me.
it's a fucked up situation when i surrender my defenses to my own offensive mechanisms.
i used to think that my rate of progression was exceptional; that i was constantly evolving in such a dramatic way. but, honestly, in retrospective, i'm still on the same old shit... just with a perspective that's been tweaked in 50 million different ways.
unfortunately, not one of these 50 million ways has satiated or diminished my inclination to self-destruct..
i cannot seem to be able to look back without being lured into my old death traps... for some reason, i refuse to let my beautiful, long-lost misery lay dormant.
apparently, i'm a bit of a masochist.
when will i ever be able to save me from myself?
ever?
how the hell will i ever be able to help anyone else? who the fuck am i fooling??
certainly, not me.